Vampires.com http://www.vampires.com vampire games, vampire news, and real vampires Sun, 02 Aug 2015 17:50:02 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.2.3 Oh, no, they did-un! http://www.vampires.com/oh-no-they-did-un/ http://www.vampires.com/oh-no-they-did-un/#comments Sun, 02 Aug 2015 17:44:31 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047891858/2015/07/18/oh-no-they-did-un The skull of legendary vampire film director FW Murnau was reported missing from his family plot, as some speculate possible occult motives for theft Actually this is really sad. So disrespectful to the man and his legacy, his fans and his family. Candle wax found at the scene leads investigators to suspect some occult motive...

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The skull of legendary vampire film director FW Murnau was reported missing from his family plot, as some speculate possible occult motives for theft

Actually this is really sad. So disrespectful to the man and his legacy, his fans and his family. Candle wax found at the scene leads investigators to suspect some occult motive for the desecration. Seems likely, although perhaps the grave-robbers were operating by candlelight because their flashlight went out? Aside from some ritualistic purpose, there are only two other reasons why people would have done this; either a private collector with really morbid taste wants it for his mantelpiece or else somebody’s planning to sell it online. The authorities would be wise to start monitoring eBay or Craigslist or one of the other Internet auction sites, as it’s just possible the skull might show up there, listed for sale. Criminals can be pretty stupid, after all. I figure the private “collector” scenario is more likely, though.

It’s ironic that I was just writing about NOSFERATU star Max Schreck’s grave being located after 75 years, and now I learn about this. I sure hope Schreck’s grave is sealed. (If he’s even in there.) Officials are thinking about sealing Murnau’s grave now. Isn’t that tantamount to closing the barn door after the horse has already gotten out?

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Did Jack the Ripper influence Bram Stoker to make some serious edits to DRACULA? Seriously? http://www.vampires.com/did-jack-the-ripper-influence-bram-stoker-to-make-some-serious-edits-to-dracula-seriously/ http://www.vampires.com/did-jack-the-ripper-influence-bram-stoker-to-make-some-serious-edits-to-dracula-seriously/#comments Sat, 01 Aug 2015 17:44:29 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047894048/2015/07/18/did-jack-the-ripper-influence-bram-stoker-to-make-some-serious-edits-to-dracula-seriously DRACULA HAD to be rewritten after the police fiasco over the Jack the Ripper murders showed Scotland Yard was no place for heroes, one of Bram Stoker’s descendants revealed. Sorry, folks, but this one is pure bupkis. Dacre Stoker, the great-grandnephew of Bram Stoker, author of DRACULA (as if you didn’t already know that) has...

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DRACULA HAD to be rewritten after the police fiasco over the Jack the Ripper murders showed Scotland Yard was no place for heroes, one of Bram Stoker’s descendants revealed.

Sorry, folks, but this one is pure bupkis. Dacre Stoker, the great-grandnephew of Bram Stoker, author of DRACULA (as if you didn’t already know that) has made quite a career for himself cashing in on his surname and his ancestor’s reputation. He is listed as a “co- author” on the “official” sequel to DRACULA called THE UNDEAD; the latter is a good read as a completely independent piece of work, but in no way, shape or form measures up to the original classic. I also have my doubts that Mr. Stoker (Dacre, that is) wrote ANY of it. Rather I think his name was attached simply because of his genetic link to Bram. I figure Ian Holt, the other “co-author,” actually wrote the book.

Now Dacre has fortuitously “discovered” a lost journal belonging to Bram, wherein Bram states that he removed the police characters he’d originally intended to use in DRACULA because he was miffed at the coppers over the Jack the Ripper case. Only the Ripper case happened AFTER the journal was supposedly written. This is just an attempt to link DRACULA with the Ripper murders—and sell some copy. My inner P.T. Barnum can respect that, but that doesn’t make it true. Nice try, though.

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What a final resting place–stuffed inside a giant concrete owl! http://www.vampires.com/what-a-final-resting-place-stuffed-inside-a-giant-concrete-owl/ http://www.vampires.com/what-a-final-resting-place-stuffed-inside-a-giant-concrete-owl/#comments Fri, 31 Jul 2015 17:44:35 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047499095/2015/07/12/what-a-final-resting-place-stuffed-inside-a-giant-concrete-owl The media tycoon asked White to design and build his tomb. But this was to be no ordinary mausoleum. Bennett Jr. had something fantastic in mind for his final resting place: a sarcophagus soaring 200 feet into the New York skyline in the form of an owl. It’s as close to a universal constant as...

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The media tycoon asked White to design and build his tomb. But this was to be no ordinary mausoleum. Bennett Jr. had something fantastic in mind for his final resting place: a sarcophagus soaring 200 feet into the New York skyline in the form of an owl.

It’s as close to a universal constant as any symbol is capable of getting. I’m speaking of the mysterious, beautiful owl. Pretty much every culture, past or present, has some tradition of the owl as a messenger from the beyond; a bringer of secret knowledge; a harbinger of death and/or life, dispatched from the spirit world on some mysterious task; an embodiment of wisdom. It is linked to the vampiric Babylonian demon Lilitu (Lilith), who often assumed its form. All this can probably be attributed, to a large degree, on the owl’s being a nocturnal predator, synonymous with darkness. The owl was the goddess Athena’s familiar and is personally my favorite bird. Seems it was James Gordon Bennett’s favorite, too, so much so that he planned to have himself interred inside a giant owl mausoleum.

Bennett was a pioneer of early 20th century “yellow journalism,” focused more on grabbing readers’ attention than reporting facts. (There’s nothing new or novel about Fox News.) And he belonged (maybe) to the secretive club for journalists known as “The Bohemians,” whose symbol was an owl. Unfortunately, architect Stanford White, who was to design Bennett’s mausoleum, got himself murdered before he could build it. Bummer.

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Freddie Blassie, Wrestling’s First “Vampire” http://www.vampires.com/freddie-blassie-wrestlings-first-vampire/ http://www.vampires.com/freddie-blassie-wrestlings-first-vampire/#comments Thu, 30 Jul 2015 17:44:31 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047493724/2015/07/12/freddie-blassie-wrestling-s-first-vampire While one would think that frequent death threats, 21 stab wounds and an acid dousing by irate fans would encourage an individual to change vocations, for Blassie the experiences did not deter him from his passion — competing in the ring and gaining incredible attention for doing so. Before he transformed into “The Hollywood Fashion...

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While one would think that frequent death threats, 21 stab wounds and an acid dousing by irate fans would encourage an individual to change vocations, for Blassie the experiences did not deter him from his passion — competing in the ring and gaining incredible attention for doing so.

Before he transformed into “The Hollywood Fashion Plate,” the identity he used back in the 80s to serve as manager to some of the top heels in the World Wrestling Federation, “Classy” Freddy Blassie was himself one of the most despised villains in professional wrestling history. Blassie delighted in playing the role, even though it almost got him killed a time or two. (Fans really did despise him so much they’d try to mob him and probably would have lynched him if they’d caught him!) Notoriously, Freddie would claim to file his teeth down to sharp points, the better to chew on his opponents. This earned him the nickname “the Vampire.”

In reality, small razor blades are used by wrestlers to cut themselves when blood is called for, and the cuts are always made to the forehead. Blood streaming down a man’s face makes for a more dramatic visual. Thus Freddie wasn’t really biting his in-ring opponents, though they WERE really bleeding. And he WAS really chewing on them. It’s safe to say that Blassie would have know what blood tasted like, and even if different blood types had different flavors, as he munched on many an unlucky performer in his decades-long career.

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Forget the MIBs – Beware the BSWs! http://www.vampires.com/forget-the-mibs-beware-the-bsws/ http://www.vampires.com/forget-the-mibs-beware-the-bsws/#comments Wed, 29 Jul 2015 17:44:28 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047495976/2015/07/12/forget-the-mibs-beware-the-bsws In the 1980s and 1990s, families in the UK – and to a lesser extent the US – faced an unusual threat: the Bogus Social Worker (BSW). They’re baaaaa-ack! The Bogus Social Workers, that is. If they ever went away in the first place. That would depend on what they are. If they are just...

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In the 1980s and 1990s, families in the UK – and to a lesser extent the US – faced an unusual threat: the Bogus Social Worker (BSW).

They’re baaaaa-ack! The Bogus Social Workers, that is. If they ever went away in the first place. That would depend on what they are. If they are just collectively an urban legend, then they didn’t vanish, their stories just became less popular, waiting on the inevitable upswing, when societal conditions would prompt their return to the public psychological forefront. That alone would be an area worthy of study to the anthropologists/psychologists/sociologists of the world. Why would the story reemerge NOW?

If, however, there really ARE strangers going to people’s houses, pretending to be social workers and demanding access to kids, to check them for signs of “abuse,” what are they up to? Are they pedophiles trolling for victims, as the urban legends attest? Are they demonic entities, akin to the MIBs (Men In Black), also trolling for victims? I’m not sure which of the latter two scenarios is the most disturbing, nor am I sure that we should necessarily differentiate between pedophiles and demons. After all, don’t they both want the same things, essentially? To destroy or corrupt innocence where they find it, to satisfy their own selfish desires? Either way, parents encountering any such being, whether mortal or supernatural in nature, should call the cops. Or Mulder and Scully.

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Vampires In The Closet http://www.vampires.com/vampires-in-the-closet/ http://www.vampires.com/vampires-in-the-closet/#comments Tue, 28 Jul 2015 17:44:34 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047493669/2015/07/12/vampires-in-the-closet It is not easy being a vampire, and even harder to come out of the coffin to a physician or therapist for fear they will misinterpret the habit of ingesting the blood of willing donors or succumb to stereotyping, a study finds. I’m guilty of it, too. I hear about some self-professing “real” vampire and...

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It is not easy being a vampire, and even harder to come out of the coffin to a physician or therapist for fear they will misinterpret the habit of ingesting the blood of willing donors or succumb to stereotyping, a study finds.

I’m guilty of it, too. I hear about some self-professing “real” vampire and I react with a sneer. I write that individual off as either a loon or a poser. There ARE no real vampires, I say, and if there were they sure as hell wouldn’t dress like THAT. Here’s the thing, though: The same argument that eventually transformed this boy, raised in a Fundamentalist Protestant home and duly indoctrinated in the requisite dogma, into a man who knows that homosexuality is NOT a choice but is rather inborn, can also apply to “vampires.” Namely, that there are many who don’t WANT to be the way they are. They claim to crave blood, but they don’t WANT to crave it. This to me is suggestive that there might really be something physiological at work here.

If I were one of these “living” vampires, I’d probably be reticent to tell my doctor about it, too—or most anybody else. But if there actually IS some condition causing this craving, then it needs to be studied. How to manage this, if none of the sufferers will cop to it? How can we as a society make the vampires among us feel secure enough to come out of the closet?

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Gimme home, home cookin’ http://www.vampires.com/gimme-home-home-cookin/ http://www.vampires.com/gimme-home-home-cookin/#comments Mon, 27 Jul 2015 17:44:28 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047487962/2015/07/11/gimme-home-home-cookin  Visit Europa Restaurant by Transylvania in downtown Hollywood, Florida if you would like to enjoy our traditional Romanian and most European food, drinks and music. Bring your dancing shoes and enjoy our live music shows! http://www.restauranttransylvania.com/ ; As if I needed another reason to go to Florida. Beyond the beaches and weather, which becomes more and...

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 Visit Europa Restaurant by Transylvania in downtown Hollywood, Florida if you would like to enjoy our traditional Romanian and most European food, drinks and music. Bring your dancing shoes and enjoy our live music shows! http://www.restauranttransylvania.com/ ;

As if I needed another reason to go to Florida. Beyond the beaches and weather, which becomes more and more attractive to me as the winter months stretch interminably on, there’s a Transylvanian restaurant in the town of Hollywood! I’ve never had Transylvanian food. I’ve had German, which is delicious, and there’s probably some overlapping with Hungarian and Romanian culinary fare, just as the cultures tend to overlap in that part of the world. But to dine in a restaurant that specializes in Romanian dishes, a restaurant that takes its very name from the territory of “the Land Beyond the Forests,” an establishment with a brief biography of Dracula included on its website—this alone would be worth driving down for.

Of course I really have no idea what constitutes authentic Transylvanian food. Shall we peruse the menu to see? Hmm. Romanian beer. Check. Honeycomb tripe soup. Why not? Tochitura pork? It’s supposed to be a traditional dish, so that’s good enough for me. Mititei. Sarmale. Hungarian beef goulash. My mouth is watering. But where are the choice meats impaled on skewers? The Dracula shish kebobs? The blood puddings? I’ma email ‘em and tell ‘em to have those on the menu by the time I get there!

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Give the devil his due http://www.vampires.com/give-the-devil-his-due/ http://www.vampires.com/give-the-devil-his-due/#comments Sun, 26 Jul 2015 17:44:32 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047485979/2015/07/11/give-the-devil-his-due A legal decision in Oklahoma to bar a Ten Commandments monument from its statehouse has a group of Satanists seeking a new home for a huge horned-goat statue of Satan. Okay, so maybe it is in bad taste, but they do kinda have a point. The Satanists, that is. In order to maintain a free...

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A legal decision in Oklahoma to bar a Ten Commandments monument from its statehouse has a group of Satanists seeking a new home for a huge horned-goat statue of Satan.

Okay, so maybe it is in bad taste, but they do kinda have a point. The Satanists, that is. In order to maintain a free society, it is necessary that an inflexible line be maintained separating Church and State. We cannot allow the religious beliefs of any one group, even if that group is the overwhelming majority, to dictate policy and decide our laws, without weakening our standing as a democracy and defying the Constitution. The law MUST remain impartial if America is to remain what it was envisioned to be, what it always has been. That means, if any government building is going to allow a Ten Commandments monument to be erected, they must by law allow any other religious group to also erect their own monuments.

Enter the devil, stage left. This group of Satanists, who seem like a relatively innocuous lot, out to make a political point as opposed to committing mass depredations, dropped a pretty penny on their statue of Ol’ Scratch, planning to plop it down on any federal building allowing the placement of a Big Ten monument. Looks like the ACLU ruined their fun, though, and the hornhead-followers may have a hard time finding their statue a public home. Bummer for them.

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An Exorcise In Futility http://www.vampires.com/an-exorcise-in-futility/ http://www.vampires.com/an-exorcise-in-futility/#comments Sat, 25 Jul 2015 17:44:30 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047486956/2015/07/11/an-exorcise-in-futility I don’t know about you but I’ve grown increasingly tired of the various ghost-hunting shows on TV, as they never amount to much more than noises in the darkness and strange audio recordings that barely sound like anything. But Destination America is going one step further this Halloween, and it’s sure to be a must-watch...

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I don’t know about you but I’ve grown increasingly tired of the various ghost-hunting shows on TV, as they never amount to much more than noises in the darkness and strange audio recordings that barely sound like anything. But Destination America is going one step further this Halloween, and it’s sure to be a must-watch TV event.

Here’s another one to file under the gag-reflex-activating, cries-of-“bullshit!”-eliciting, just-look-at-how-low-the-television-industry-has-sunk, you‘ve-got-to-be-f*cking-kidding-me column. Destination America is going to air a live exorcism. Now this MIGHT have some small degree of relevance, MIGHT go a little ways towards helping to spread education and awareness. IF. If it were anything more than a shameless ratings grab. A lame stunt garnered to snag headlines, to titillate and pander. In other words, if it were going to be a real exorcism. Which it isn’t.

For starters, they aren’t going to exorcise a PERSON, rather a building. Oh, but not just any building, but the house where the REAL family lived, upon whose experiences the Horror classic THE EXORCIST was based. Never mind that the movie was only LOOSELY based on the allegedly true story, and that the house in question had no connection at all to the movie. They’re trying to cash in on name recognition, folks, nothing else. And I’ve never read a word about the house actually NEEDING exorcising. The priest in the alleged actual incident supposedly took care of the problem decades ago. But Destination America needs ratings, whether the house needs cleansing or not.

They should cleanse it of the demon named Mammon, methinks. (That’s greed, if you didn’t know.)

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Yes, but is he actually IN it? http://www.vampires.com/yes-but-is-he-actually-in-it/ http://www.vampires.com/yes-but-is-he-actually-in-it/#comments Fri, 24 Jul 2015 17:44:27 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047488465/2015/07/11/yes-but-is-he-actually-in-it Max Schreck, the German actor who set the standard for movie vampires everywhere with his legendary portrayal of Nosferatu, has been honoured with a new gravestone commemorating his place in cinematic history. I honestly didn’t know that Max Schreck’s gravesite was unknown for three-quarters of a century. Truthfully, I never knew much about him at...

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Max Schreck, the German actor who set the standard for movie vampires everywhere with his legendary portrayal of Nosferatu, has been honoured with a new gravestone commemorating his place in cinematic history.

I honestly didn’t know that Max Schreck’s gravesite was unknown for three-quarters of a century. Truthfully, I never knew much about him at all, other than that he starred in NOSFERATU. But Schreck was a prolific actor with dozens of film credits to his name, although he is best known today, and adored by the legions of vampire and Horror buffs, as the first actor to ever portray Bram Stoker’s Count Dracula. Sorta. See, there were copyright issues at the time, and they had to change the name of the character in F.W. Murnau’s silent noir classic NOSFERATU from Dracula to Graf (Count) Orlock. Not that it matters. A rose by any other name . . .

It’s good to see Schreck getting a fitting memorial, as he was without doubt a cinematic legend. Granted, he attained this legendary status pretty much for just that ONE role, but so what? How many true masterpieces does one need to create, anyway? As an artist, Mr. Schreck might have preferred to be judged by the entire body of his work, but for me and countless others, they could simply chisel the word NOSFERATU on that big granite memorial, and no more would need to be said.

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An Academic Approach to Apotropaics http://www.vampires.com/an-academic-approach-to-apotropaics/ http://www.vampires.com/an-academic-approach-to-apotropaics/#comments Thu, 23 Jul 2015 17:44:34 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047433905/2015/07/10/an-academic-approach-to-apotropaics Apotropaic observances-traditional practices intended to prevent evil-were not uncommon in post-medieval Poland, and included specific treatment of the dead for those considered at risk for becoming vampires. Let’s get our Science on, y’all! Today we’re gonna talk about vampire burials and apotropaic rituals. “Apotropaic” means, roughly, some action taken in order to prevent or inhibit...

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Apotropaic observances-traditional practices intended to prevent evil-were not uncommon in post-medieval Poland, and included specific treatment of the dead for those considered at risk for becoming vampires.

Let’s get our Science on, y’all! Today we’re gonna talk about vampire burials and apotropaic rituals. “Apotropaic” means, roughly, some action taken in order to prevent or inhibit evil, thus an apotropaic burial means something was done to the corpse before, during or after interment to stop it from becoming a menace to the living—usually by the body in question refusing to stay buried and act dead. By running around and making a general nuisance of itself, the revenant would spread pestilence and cause the cemeteries to swell. Misery loves company, after all. Sometimes, but far from always, the vampire was said to drink blood from living victims, or in some other way to drain them of vitality. However it chose to make its presence known, the vampire was a communal problem, and stopping it from getting out of its grave in the first place was preferential to having to destroy it later.

Graves showing evidence of apotropaic tampering show us how this was affected. Sickles were placed across the necks of the deceased, so that they’d decapitate themselves if they tried to sit up. Rocks were shoved underneath their chins. Coins were stuffed in their mouths. Hey, an ounce of prevention and all that, right?

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Vampires is big bizness! http://www.vampires.com/vampires-is-big-bizness/ http://www.vampires.com/vampires-is-big-bizness/#comments Wed, 22 Jul 2015 17:44:28 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047440119/2015/07/10/vampires-is-big-bizness Bran Castle attracted over 570,000 visitors in 2014, up 7-8% year-on-year. Does this really surprise anyone? Despite the fact that Bran Castle is NOT the authentic castle of Prince Vlad III, more commonly known as “Dracula,” tourists are still flocking to it. And they need not be satisfied with this one (fabricated) locale as the...

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Bran Castle attracted over 570,000 visitors in 2014, up 7-8% year-on-year.

Does this really surprise anyone? Despite the fact that Bran Castle is NOT the authentic castle of Prince Vlad III, more commonly known as “Dracula,” tourists are still flocking to it. And they need not be satisfied with this one (fabricated) locale as the terminus point of a Dracula/vampire-themed excursion. In fact the entire country of Romania represents, more than any other place on earth, the “homeland of the vampire.” Once composed of three different countries, Wallachia, Moldavia and Transylvania, the country today named in honor of the long-vanished Roman Empire retains so much of its historical culture—and this steeped in vampire mythology—that it might as well be called “Vampire Land” and turned into a theme park. (There was actually some talk of doing this very thing a few years back, creating a “Dracula World” in the mold of Mickey Mouse’s kingdom over in the US, but nothing ever came of it.)

Still Romania doesn’t need a name change to make it appealing to the vampire connoisseur. Beautiful in the way a fairy tale land should be beautiful, it maintains genuineness that cannot be faked, or cheapened. Not even by pimping out the wrong castle as Dracula’s palace.

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‘Velcome to the Hotel Transylvania! http://www.vampires.com/velcome-to-the-hotel-transylvania/ http://www.vampires.com/velcome-to-the-hotel-transylvania/#comments Tue, 21 Jul 2015 17:44:32 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047039137/2015/07/04/velcome-to-the-hotel-transylvania Drac’s pack is back for a brand new adventure! See #HotelTransylvania2 in theaters September 25, 2015 HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA was not a great movie. And not just by animated movie standards. Gone are the days when we can judge them separately. Used to be, an animated flick, a cartoon, to use the common term, was designated...

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Drac’s pack is back for a brand new adventure! See #HotelTransylvania2 in theaters September 25, 2015

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA was not a great movie. And not just by animated movie standards. Gone are the days when we can judge them separately. Used to be, an animated flick, a cartoon, to use the common term, was designated merely “kid’s stuff” and so the bar was set a little lower. Toons didn’t have to equal the heights of “regular” movies. That all changed when BEAUTY AND THE BEAST forced its way into the Best Picture Category at the Oscars, and with the advent of a company called Pixar. Animated features today must meet the same requirements in terms of quality as non-animated films. And HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA didn’t, too concerned with fart jokes and silly shenanigans to achieve true greatness. HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 2 looks to be more of the same.

That being said, I look forward to it. The first wasn’t as good as it could (should) have been, but it was fun and it had heart. And Adam Sandler nails his parodist performance as a stodgy but good-natured Count Dracula. This next installment posits him as a grandfather. Papaw Drac!

No, I won’t go into the theater expecting too much, but I do expect to have a good time, all the same. Anybody else planning on seeing it?

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A Macabre Menagerie http://www.vampires.com/a-macabre-menagerie/ http://www.vampires.com/a-macabre-menagerie/#comments Mon, 20 Jul 2015 17:44:28 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047040153/2015/07/04/a-macabre-menagerie We all know that being human isn’t easy, but being a mythical monster must really be challenging. Although these people appear to look like human beings on the outside, they believe that they are really vampires, werewolves, or aliens. I try to keep an open mind. I’m a big believer in personal freedoms. Also, I’ve...

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We all know that being human isn’t easy, but being a mythical monster must really be challenging. Although these people appear to look like human beings on the outside, they believe that they are really vampires, werewolves, or aliens.

I try to keep an open mind. I’m a big believer in personal freedoms. Also, I’ve been branded as a weirdo myself by stodgy, uptight “normal” people who either can’t or refuse to understand my fascination with things dark and gruesome. Then there’s that whole “Do unto others” thing. I wouldn’t like for anybody to point at me and holler “Freak!” or “Loony!” so I’m hesitant to label any of my fellow weirdoes as such. Sometimes, however, a spade is just a spade, and there are no better words for it. Cases in point: the people on this list. When even the weirdoes of the world are calling you weird, you know you’ve truly reached new heights. Or depths.

Most of the people on this list seem pretty harmless. And hell, the kooks tend to make life more interesting, don’t they? We wouldn’t want them to go away. (I think my personal favorite of the lot is Jonathon Sharkey. I can’t condone the impaling of presidents, but a former pro wrestling “vampire” who croons Elvis songs? That’s a guy worth meeting.) Some are basically just cosplayers, playacting at being supernatural. Some, though, are genuinely dangerous, and pretty sad, to boot. It takes all kinds, folks. Takes all kinds.

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The Economics of the Undead http://www.vampires.com/the-economics-of-the-undead/ http://www.vampires.com/the-economics-of-the-undead/#comments Sun, 19 Jul 2015 17:44:26 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047039083/2015/07/04/the-economics-of-the-undead How werewolves, silver bullets, and vampires impact small business marketing. Jennifer Fontaine, of Fontaine Marketing, does two things in this blog post deserving of comment. First off, she admits to being a fan of the TWILIGHT movies. For this she deserves our pity, not our scorn. And while it might be expected, and perhaps justified,...

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How werewolves, silver bullets, and vampires impact small business marketing.

Jennifer Fontaine, of Fontaine Marketing, does two things in this blog post deserving of comment. First off, she admits to being a fan of the TWILIGHT movies. For this she deserves our pity, not our scorn. And while it might be expected, and perhaps justified, that this fact alone would shade anything else she has to say in questionable hues, prejudice her readership against her, especially as hers is a business-related blog—how can one take seriously an admitted fan of sparkly vampires crushing on high school girls?—Ms. Fontaine does offer us an opportunity to illustrate just how prevalent the vampire and its close cousin the werewolf have become in our modern culture.

Ms. Fontaine, in discussing the tenets of successful marketing and warning of the potential pratfalls, likens them to vampires and werewolves. She provides no definitions of what these creatures ARE. She has no need to do so. Even stodgy business types immediately recognize them, and get the allusions. (A dishonest business person is a vampire because said entity wants to “suck you dry,” for example.) This is the extent to which these denizens of the dark, lonely night have become ingrained in the public consciousness.

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Oh, oh here she comes . . . http://www.vampires.com/oh-oh-here-she-comes/ http://www.vampires.com/oh-oh-here-she-comes/#comments Sat, 18 Jul 2015 17:44:39 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047040065/2015/07/04/oh-oh-here-she-comes Indonesian folklore features a wide variety of tales about ghosts and spirits. The kuntilanak is perhaps the most notorious of all. The surge in popularity of Asian Horror over the past few years means that many Americans are familiar with the Kuntilanak of Malaysia. Not its name, no, but with its appearance and disposition. The...

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Indonesian folklore features a wide variety of tales about ghosts and spirits. The kuntilanak is perhaps the most notorious of all.

The surge in popularity of Asian Horror over the past few years means that many Americans are familiar with the Kuntilanak of Malaysia. Not its name, no, but with its appearance and disposition. The creature looks like the typical vengeful ghosts seen in movies like THE RING. Long dark hair hiding a face so hideous that seeing it could literally stop your heart. Only the Kuntilanak isn’t after hearts. If you’re a female, it isn’t after you at all. The Kuntilanak was, in life, a woman who died while pregnant, and for some reason returned to the physical world with a grudge against men. It can appear as a beautiful woman, and will seduce a guy—only to tear him apart and devour him.

One thing that sets the Kuntilanak apart from other malicious, vampire-like wraiths, though, is the fact that it can be redeemed. The relatives of the revenant can hire a witch doctor to exert control over it, forcing it to perform good deeds until it banks enough good karma to transcend to the next world. So it’s not all bad news for this Malaysian menace—which is good news for its potential victims.

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Get fed and talk to the dead http://www.vampires.com/get-fed-and-talk-to-the-dead/ http://www.vampires.com/get-fed-and-talk-to-the-dead/#comments Fri, 17 Jul 2015 17:44:30 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047040026/2015/07/04/get-fed-and-talk-to-the-dead For probably the first time in history, we’re going to mix spiritualism with… kale. This is a great idea. I’m surprised it isn’t done more often. Picture it: You enter a dining establishment. The lights are low. You are seated at a large, circular table with other guests. You enjoy a nice meal, maybe a...

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For probably the first time in history, we’re going to mix spiritualism with… kale.

This is a great idea. I’m surprised it isn’t done more often. Picture it: You enter a dining establishment. The lights are low. You are seated at a large, circular table with other guests. You enjoy a nice meal, maybe a bottle of wine, then a dessert. After the plates are cleared away, out comes the spiritual medium. He explains that a séance is to take place, and that all present will be participants in it. He instructs you on the simple rules. All electric lights are doused and candles are lit. Everyone at the table joins hands and the séance begins.

Okay, so the one being offered by “The Amazing Kale Burger” café in Chicago is not a genuine séance; rather a performance designed exclusively for entertainment purposes. But if a restaurant chain decided to play it straight, I bet they could make a go of it. People are as interested in the occult today as they were during the spiritualism craze of the 19th Century. It makes sense, financially. But what if they actually succeeded in conjuring something up? What if that something followed a patron home, crept into his room in the dead of night? Hmm. Maybe we oughta stick with the kayfabe version.

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The Shroud of Turin: Whose face is that? http://www.vampires.com/the-shroud-of-turin-whose-face-is-that/ http://www.vampires.com/the-shroud-of-turin-whose-face-is-that/#comments Thu, 16 Jul 2015 17:44:30 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047037044/2015/07/04/the-shroud-of-turin-whose-face-is-that Some say it’s Jesus Christ’s burial wrapping, others say it’s a medieval fake. Either way, how does the Turin Shroud come to bear a man’s image? I’ve said before that one of the primary reasons for the prevalence in the modern age of the vampire myth is that it is, in truth, inverted Christianity. Both...

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Some say it’s Jesus Christ’s burial wrapping, others say it’s a medieval fake. Either way, how does the Turin Shroud come to bear a man’s image?

I’ve said before that one of the primary reasons for the prevalence in the modern age of the vampire myth is that it is, in truth, inverted Christianity. Both promise life beyond death, and both use blood as the means of conveying this immortality. “He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood will live forever,” Jesus promised, speaking metaphorically; believers understand this to be a reference to His sacrifice for the sins of humankind. The way of the vampire, though, allows a person to claim immortality for himself, not relying on the grace afforded by a higher power, if only he is willing to undergo one simple BITE. Vampirism has become something of its own religion, a shadow cast by Christianity.

Of the latter, there’s no more famous icon than the Shroud of Turin. Everyone knows what it is. No one knows how it came to exist. Is it genuine? Supernatural? Or, if nothing more than a clever work of art, a forgery, how the hell did they create it? The Shroud has refused to give up its secrets, and this mystery only adds to its aura. At this point it scarce matters if it’s the authentic burial shroud of Jesus. It has become an object of occult interest all on its own.

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The Fangs All Here! http://www.vampires.com/the-fangs-all-here/ http://www.vampires.com/the-fangs-all-here/#comments Wed, 15 Jul 2015 17:44:31 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047034137/2015/07/04/the-fangs-all-here They vant to… get along. See our videos a month earlier at http://www.collegehumor.com and follow us on http://www.twitter.com/collegehumor This is just funny. What would happen if all the vampires as presented in fiction and folklore were to get together for a board meeting? Seriously, they wouldn’t even recognize each other as belonging to the same...

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They vant to… get along. See our videos a month earlier at http://www.collegehumor.com and follow us on http://www.twitter.com/collegehumor

This is just funny. What would happen if all the vampires as presented in fiction and folklore were to get together for a board meeting? Seriously, they wouldn’t even recognize each other as belonging to the same “species.” The traditional Count Dracula, with his cape and slicked-back widow’s peak, his smooth eastern European accent. The personable, hip, but somewhat ineffectual vamps from the BUFFY universe. The sparkly, feeble, fangless Justin Beaber of the vampire world, Edward, from that godawful TWILIGHT series. The horny hotties of TRUE BLOOD. The Count from SESAME STREET. The folks at COLLEGE HUMOR give us a glimpse of what such a meeting might look like, if we could all be flies on the wall. It’s glorious.

However, some representatives of the bloodsucker community are missing. Where is Nosferatu? Where is the moldering, bloated reanimated corpse of traditional folklore? WHERE IS BARNABAS COLLINS?! You can’t have a vampire get-together without Barnabas! And what about the ladies? There’s no Elizabeth Bathory, no Selene from UNDERWORLD, no Carmilla. The cult of the undead ain’t no boys-only club! We demand equal representation! (Then again, Edward is there. So maybe they do have at least one female present.)

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You can’t keep a bad building down! http://www.vampires.com/you-cant-keep-a-bad-building-down/ http://www.vampires.com/you-cant-keep-a-bad-building-down/#comments Tue, 14 Jul 2015 17:44:42 +0000 http://www.scoop.it/t/the-proper-red-stuff/p/4047035383/2015/07/04/you-can-t-keep-a-bad-building-down The push to redevelop 77 acres of the former Danvers State Hospital has meant the demolition of most of the buildings of the former insane asylum, with just one-third of the 1878 Kirkbride building remaining. Not long after the excellent psychological Horror movie SESSION 9 was filmed there, the Danvers State Insane Asylum north of...

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The push to redevelop 77 acres of the former Danvers State Hospital has meant the demolition of most of the buildings of the former insane asylum, with just one-third of the 1878 Kirkbride building remaining.

Not long after the excellent psychological Horror movie SESSION 9 was filmed there, the Danvers State Insane Asylum north of Boston, Massachusetts was bought by a greedy real estate development firm and torn down. It’s the American way! Never mind the historical significance, here’s a chance for some greedy bastards to make a little money! It’s sickening. Their plan was to turn the several acres once occupied by the Danvers Asylum into an apartment complex. They tore down everything except the brick façade of the main building. Everything else fell to the wrecking ball. They got rid of it all. Or DID they?

The asylum, notoriously haunted, was said to possess a kind of almost sentience, as if the very structure itself were alive; this theme was explored in the film. The asylum was demolished in 2006. In 2007, most of those shiny new apartment buildings they erected mysteriously burned to the ground. Anything original to the asylum was left standing. And the company that salvaged building materials from the asylum also had a fire. Was the spirit of the Danvers Asylum having its revenge?

They rebuilt the apartments after the fire. But would you really want to live there?

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