Getting Pickled

You remember Horatio Nelson, Vice-Admiral of the British Navy, from your World History class, right? He was the guy what whooped Napoleon but good at the battle of Trafalgar in 1805, putting an end to the Little Emperor’s plans to conquer merry ol’ England, and this despite being outnumbered and despite getting killed in the process. Yes, yes, all well and good, you may say. Interesting enough, but why are we talking about it HERE? For our purposes, the great accomplishments of Nelson in life are eclipsed by his exploits after death. His voyage home is one of the most unintentionally comical exploits of the era. Read on.

Rather than burying Nelson at sea, which would have been easiest, the decision was made to bring the revered hero home for a proper funeral. But as it was going to take quite some time to reach England from the southern seas off the coast of Spain, the problem became how to keep the Admiral fresh? A solution was forthcoming—pickle him! They put Nelson in a cask of hooch and strapped it to the deck of his ship, the VICTORY. But they didn’t use the go-to preservative of the day, which was rum, but instead went with the unconventional choice of brandy. Did it work? Not entirely. When the gasses released by the decomposition of Nelson’s body reached critical mass and the internal PSI of the brandy cask maxed out, it blew the lid off the cask and, not surprisingly, frightened the sentries on duty at the time, making them think the great Admiral was rising from the dead. If he had, he would’ve been plenty intoxicated, no doubt. That brandy is stern stuff.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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