STRAIN-ing

July 16th, y’all! We’re getting close! It’s almost July, and THE STRAIN promos just keep a’comin’. Check out “Push.” Who is that chick giving birth, and why is Dutch helping her? Is this supposed to be Dutch’s former girlfriend, or ANOTHER former girlfriend? That would be lame on her part. But wait–what is she giving birth to? A baby Strigoi? Isn’t that how we got Quinlan? Is there going to be another Quinlan?

I don’t remember seeing this other trailer, either. Strigoi kept on leashes and muzzled like attack dogs. That’s creepy. It’s really going to be a different world this season. Bad news for the human characters. Good news for all us watching at home.

Hey, Guillermo, I have an idea. Since Mike Mignola decided he’d rather reboot the HELLBOY franchise instead of letting you finish the trilogy you’ve had in mind for years, howzabout you give us a full-length Quinlan movie instead? That’d be even more rad than the Quinlan spinoff TV series I pitched a few weeks back. The timing is perfect. There’s an open space in your schedule now. Quinlan would fit into that just right. Think about it, okay?

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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