Vampires » bela lugosi

How To Be The Perfect Vampire

Moonlight — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 16:00:51 +0000

…and by “perfect vampire” I of course mean “perfectly stereotypical vampire.” Damn near everything has a label or image associated with it, especially vampires and vamps have one very big classic stereotype.
Here is your list of instructions on how to be the perfectly horrid perfect vampire. Take notes, you want to get it right.

Formal black clothes – Vampires dress in style and black never goes out of style… plus blood stains don’t show on black. Oh and the black helps with lurking in shadows. Getting your lurk on is a big part of being a vamp.

Cape – You must have a big black cape and this cape needs to have a big collar. That way you can hunch over and peer over the top of it (like in the picture on the left). It helps if the cape has bright red velvet lining. Stylish. Thank you Bela Lugosi.

Slick black hair – Make your hair really greasy and just slick it backwards, then spray enough hairspray on it that not even a tornado will move it. A widows peak is a plus, if you don’t have a widows peak then bust out the electric shaver. If that’s not hot then I don’t know what is.

Vamp bling – It’s still cool to say bling right? No? Meh, fuck it. Anyway, you need to get yourself a big, and I mean big gaudy pendant around your neck, use bright red ribbon instead of a chain.

Accent - You gotta have a Transylvanian accent. The thicker the better. The more inaccurate the better. The more lisping action the better. Have I made my point?

Drool blood – All the cool vampires do it. Don’t you watch the movies? Munch down on a human then open your mouth wide and let the bright red life juice run down your chin. Mmm Mmm.

Hiss - For some reason many vamps do this. I guess it’s an intimidation thing. They bare their fangs and hiss like a cat. Mix the hissing in with the drooling blood and you got a peeeerfect badass combination.

Mirrors - You have no reflection. So you get to save some cash and not buy any for your lair. Win!

Castle – You need to live in a castle. A big old school castle. Make sure to get some good real estate, one where it storms a lot. You must have lightening and rain to enhance your property.

Coffin – You have to sleep in a coffin. Sunlight = bad! Beds are so for the living. Your coffin needs to be lined with velvet and when you get in and out of it you need to be as dramatic as possible. Keep it classy.

Bat – Shifting into a bat is pretty important. All the top vampires do it, you want to be cool like them right? Of course you do. Plus bats are cute…right…they have …uh…wings… and fangs… and no, no they are not cute, but it’s still part of being a vampire.

Stalk someone – All your forefather vamps have done it. You pick out some chick, preferably blonde and dumb, and then you watch her from a distance all the time. You stalk her like no one has stalked before. Lurking and stalking are two of a vampires favorite pastimes.

Fear holy items – Come on, everyone knows vampire don’t like crosses or holy water. You guys have a holy-phobia. Make sure to cringe and hiss at any holy item that come near you, it adds to the drama.

Moodiness - Keeping up with the theme of modern vampires, you need to be as emo as possible. You have to be one giant whiny little bitch. Somehow this adds sex appeal. Trust me.

Bach – Real vampires don’t rock out with their cock out to Cradle of Filth or Marilyn Manson! They rock out to Bach’s Toccata and Fugue! You know the song, everyone does. Check out the video below, you will recognize it within the first three seconds.

And that’s where I’ll end this list. You got the basics there. To be a truly bad ass vampire, you gotta stay with the stereotypical classics man.

Click here to view the embedded video.

- Moonlight

Playboy Makes Vampires Even Sexier

Moonlight — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 15:00:54 +0000

…and who thought that was even possible?

It’s no secret that the world of entertainment has been taken over by our favorite blood sucking creatures of the night. But you really know a fad is popular when the hotties over at Playboy join in on sexy fun, and man is it sexy.

Just in time for the Halloween season, Playboy recently released their October issue of the magazine and on the cover, a bounty of vampire-y goodness. With the steaming hot sex scenes in True Blood to the rated PG, yet still passionate kisses in Twilight, there is no doubt we find vampires sexy. This edition of the magazine seeks to explain this phenomenon with a history of vampire lore accompanied by a seductive, erotic eight-page pictorial. Naked vamps = pure win!

“Love Bites” takes a historic look into the sexualization of the vampire, starting out with Bela Lugosi’s classic portrayal of Dracula in the 1931 film. Now while that is all well and good you know it’s those 8 pages of pure undead sexiness that will be drawing people in, showing us just how sexy vampires can be, and who better to show us than Playboy.

The voluptuous and beautiful pictorial, featuring Playboy Poland Playmate of the Year Kasia Danysz and Weronika Zurkowska, was first shot by photographer Szymon Brodziak for the March 2009 issue of Playboy Poland. While Klinger offers numerous historic and social explanations for audiences’ fascination with vampiric love, Brodziak’s photos prove that no matter what it is that attracts us, vampires have never looked so good.

If the article section of the magazine has sparked your curiosity and you are interested in why we find vampires so sexy, there are quite a few books and documentaries on the subject. Yup, believe it or not vampires are so popular and so loved that there are entire books on their sexiness alone. Pick up Allure of the Vampire: Our Sexual Attraction to the Undead by Corvis Nocturnum if you are interested in that aspect of vampires. Or if you just want to read some sexy, and I mean sexy, vampire stories, pick up anything edited by Cecilia Tan. She has a deliciously large collection of erotic vampire anthologies (shapeshifter ones too for the werewolf fans), full of story after story of vampire sex that is so hot you wont be able to read enough of them and so dirty that even True Blood’s scenes will seem mild.

- Moonlight

Vampire Films

admin — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 09:30:36 +0000

There are more than likely thousands of vampire movies out there, but most notably, the movie Blade, about the comic book hero, half vampire, half human, the definitive Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and Interview With The Vampire, the debut novel of the Vampire Chronicles authored by Anne Rice made into a film, with it’s sequel, Queen of the Damned. Also as equally definitive as Bram Stoker’s Dracula, is Nosferatu, eine Symphonie Des Grauens, one of the very first vampire films, released in 1922; the unauthorized adaptation of the novel by Bram Stoker.

Vampire films were inspired almost as soon as the ability to actually make, record, and exhibit films had been created; one of the first of many films was titled simply “The Vampire,” in 1913, and followed by “A Fool There Was” in 1915. Both of these silent films were about “vamps” or, femme-fatales; the inspiration for both the films and the terms came from the 1897 poem The Vampire, by Rudyard Kipling. The poem by Rudyard Kipling, was inspired by the famous painting ‘The Vampire’ by Sir Philip Burne-Jones, featuring a female vampire straddling a wounded, or sleeping man. The first really supernatural vampire film to emerge was Nosferatu; it was so closely related to Bram Stoker’s novel, that his widow sued, won, and all copies were destroyed, except for five. It was finally restored in 1994 in Europe.

Bela Lugosi later starred in the 1931 classic Dracula, and then in two more vampire films following that; one of them Abbot And Costello Meet Frankenstein, in 1948 which was the last time he would play Dracula. Then another in which he played a vampire character that was everything Dracula was, except his name; the film was Return of the Vampire. Bela Lugosi was in a number of early horror films throughout the 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. In 1957 the movie ‘El Vampiro’ was produced, and was one of the first vampire films in which the fangs of the vampire were actually revealed. In 1958, the renowned Hammer Horror series debuted with the film Dracula, starring Christopher Lee, who acted in five of the following seven sequels. Later, Francis Ford Coppola’s groundbreaking classic ‘Bram Stoker’s Dracula’ emerged in 1992.

However, Dracula was not the only vampire novel to inspire directors and screenwriters. Although more distant from the novel by Bram Stoker, Carmilla, the short story by Sheridan Le Fanu inspired many classic vampires films. Carmilla put the sexual spin of lesbian vampirism on several popular vampire films in the 70’s, such as the Karnstein trilogy from Hammer Studios, as well as Blood and Roses, in 1960, Vampyres, in 1974, and The Vampire Lovers, in 1970, to name a few. The 1948 film with Abbot and Costello transformed many Dracula or vampire theme films into comedies. Sexuality has been drawn into the vampire genre of films from all orientations, and in both male and female roles. There are a few but still a strong flow of vampire films left that stick true to Max Shreck’s first portrayal of the disturbing, and monstrous Count Orlok in Nosferatu.

Vampires » bela lugosi

How To Be The Perfect Vampire

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Playboy Makes Vampires Even Sexier

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Vampire Films

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