1. No one can ever agree on vampire powers, so a werewolf would be entering into a one hell of a gamble if he ever picked a fight with a vampire. It could do anything; transform into a tiger, or spew acid from its eye sockets. So the first reason is: uncertainty!
2. Werewolves are werewolves [...]
Upstairs, in Sookie’s bedroom, Sookie is screaming, which looks all muddled and distorted in Lafayette’s vision. He tells Tara and Eggs that Maryann wants her downstairs with the egg, now. Tara takes the egg, laughing like a lunatic, and the two head off. Sookie tries to get to Lafayette, but all he’s thinking is the [...]
At the Queen’s home, Bill greets the woman in the pretty dress on the floor, who is drinking blood from the inner thigh of a woman sprawled out on a piece of antique furniture that looks too expensive to be getting body fluids smeared all over it. Bill asks if he’s come at a bad [...]
We open the episode with a quick recap of what happened in episode 8; with Luke just blowing everyone up. Outside, Bill tells Lorena it doesn’t matter if they ever meet again, –he tells her that regardless of immortality, she is dead to him. Lorena says “I wish you hadn’t said that,” and turns to [...]
Andy didn’t give up after all! He’s still running through the woods, drunk as a skunk, and still falling repeatedly on his face. In the clearing at the big orgy, Eggs is manhandling Sam, and slams him onto a rock. Tara leans over, with completely black eyes, tells him to give in, and licks his [...]
At the Hotel Carmilla, Eric is snacking on a classy looking dirty blonde, and loses his appetite when she calls him “baby”. She offers to pretend she doesn’t like it, and though Eric seems to have a few reservations about her acting skills, he resumes his dinner. When Lorena, Bill’s maker shows up however, he [...]
I just recently got a couple Tattered Star t-shirts in the mail, and I have to say, I’m pretty effing thrilled with them. The guys over at Tattered Star have a pretty awesome selection of monster shirts, with witty sayings on them, you know. Example, one of my shirts says “Conserve Water, Drink Blood”– how [...]
And we’re back! Eric is shown, flinging a dismembered arm, belonging to the blonde redneck, –in slow-mo, no less, –at Lafayette. The chunk of gore hits Lafayette in the chest, and he stumbles back to cower behind the pillar once more. Eric warns Lafayette that if he has any silver, now would be the time [...]
Oh my god! Season 2 Premier! Like, yaaaay! How many of you could have just died when you found out they were going to be making more True Blood? I don’t know about you, but I almost had an epileptic episode. A word of warning; for those of you who read the books, or are [...]
This is it folks, the season finale! Which means this synopsis might be really damn long, or really damn short. But either way, my next synopsis will be the premier of True Blood’s second season. Jason sits in his jail cell dealing out all of his possessions, his jacket to Hoyt, the house, money and [...]
We open up on Bill digging a grave for Jessica, who lies nearby, recently ex-sanguinated, while Pam pokes and prods, and checks the panties of his new friend. Bill gets frustrated and tells Pam to leave her alone, and the two get into a long, existential argument about the lives of vampires. Pam is all [...]
Sam wakes up to a screaming Sookie, and the sexy naked bar owner flops around for a moment before Sookie settles far away, and tells him to leave; very loudly. While Sam tries to explain, Sookie misunderstands, and thinks Sam is the murderer, before she clocks him one, and takes off to hide in the [...]
We open up where we left off in episode 8, –with a very pissed off Longshadow ready to choke the life out of Sookie; Bill’s fangs extend, while Eric watches solemnly, and Pam rolls her eyes at his side, at Ginger’s high pitched, continuous shrieking. Pam tells her “enough!” and Eric politely says ‘Thank you”, [...]
We open where we left off in episode 7, with Sookie staring shocked at the four coffins, blackened by the flames that the surrounding firemen have just quelled. Sheriff Bud Dearborn asks Sookie if she’s okay, and if she wants water; she asks if they’re sure, did they find four bodies? Detective Andy Bellefleur says [...]
We open where we left off; a very, very close up shot of Bill slurping and sucking on Sookie’s neck. We’re still being shown Sookie and Bill’s mid-coital mambo, which means more boobs, and a good shot of Bill’s rather feminine butt. Apparently, this is the exact moment of penetration; I suppose to any virgin, [...]
We return to the scene of poor sweet Gran, lying dead in a sticky pool of blood on her kitchen floor. Sookie, completely shocked is grabbed by Bill, and turned from the scene. Sam enters and Bill is immediately defensive, due to the bloody scene in front of him; thinking that Sam might be the [...]
We’re back, finally, after a week of waiting, to Sookie and Bill’s magical car ride home. As you’ll recall, Bill and Sookie met a policeman on the road, whom Bill scared bad enough, to make him pee his pants. Poor feller. Bill and Sookie sit in the car and Sookie berates him for his treatment [...]
And we’re back, right where we left off, with Sookie screaming her head off after finding the body of her coworker, Dawn. This is a stressful situation, so it’s a little surprising that she doesn’t turn the alarm clock off; considering it’s the first thing any of us would do. Imagine, dead body of co-worker, [...]
Whether you’re a fan of the books, or the show, or are oblivious to Charlaine Harris’s novels (shame on you!), one cannot possibly dispute the popularity of True Blood. With perfect timing, HBO introduced its new supernatural thriller series (after the untimely death of Carnivale, HBO looked pretty villainous to the genre fans en masse), [...]
