Vampire Shopping: A New List of Really Weird Stuff to Buy

There are a ton of wacky vampire things out there to be bought; from the random, to the ridiculous, it’s all for sale, –and some of it, you may even want to buy! Here are a few things we found recently that might strike your fancy.

The Weird Vampire Doll – It’s ugly, it’s stained, and it’s.. for sale? It looks like something a morbid ten year old made, and threw out a car window at some point. It’s not even ‘so ugly it’s cute’, –it’s just hideous. It’s also perfect for the ultimate vampire fan… but just in case of germs, you may want to leave it inside the original packaging.

The Curse – A giant menstrual pad with a vampire on it, –not only is it quilted, it’s re-usable! That means, that after about three dozen washes, the period stains will make it look that much more realistic.

Mouth Eye Vampire Doll – The name is pretty descriptive; it’s a porcelain doll, redesigned by something with a twisted imagination. A vampire doll with a mouth full of hand sculpted bloody teeth where its eyes should be would make for one hell of a family heirloom. Imagine getting something like this in your grandmother’s will.

Love at First Bite: The Unofficial Twilight Cookbook – Uh… to the best of my knowledge, vampires don’t eat anything; they drink blood. So what the hell is in this cookbook? I don’t know, but I want one! Damn you, Twilight vampires, damn you!

Dracula’s Tomb Soil Pendant – The Holy Grail of weird vampire products, this is just one of the many neat things you could find in the back of issues from Famous Monsters. Good luck finding one of these anywhere; they’re sacred!