‘Vampires Suck’ – Along Came a Trailer

Okay, the trailer is finally out for the spoof of Twilight, –and I guess, a few other popular films from the last couple of years, –but yeah, mostly Twilight. It’s coming to theaters mid-August, so there’s plenty of time to catch all the trailers. I’m sure they’ll probably release a few. After watching the trailer, I think I could probably watch it, and be moderately entertained, but then the other half of me, thinks “Oh, what a great opportunity for a bunch of sweaty, boring, over-analytical douchebags to get together and make witty comments about how UNREALISTIC the fictional creatures in True Blood, Twilight, and the Vampire Diaries are…”

A lot of bloggers however, aren’t giving the film a fair shot (the It’s Raining Men bit, with all the werewolf guys dancing around, was hilarious, sorry, it was!), and are already speculating that the movie will, you know, suck. The Frisky says:

“I’m still reeling from the atrocity that was “Date Movie,” but now Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg are back to make fun of “Twilight” and all the other fangy movies and TV shows with the flick “Vampires Suck.” I’m not sure why they wasted all that production value on churning out these movies. But even more so, I’m annoyed at how out of control they’ve gotten. Is it really necessary to parody like 40 movies at once and insert a zillion pop culture references? What does “Alice in Wonderland” have to do with vampires? And why do the actors look more like the actors from “Twilight” than the actors from “Twilight” look like themselves? I’ll admit that the Black Eyed Peas joke made me chuckle, but it just seems silly to parody a movie that is already so ridiculously silly half the time. That paper-cut scene actually happened! That’s not parody. That’s just mimicking.”

Hey, parody movies in general, absolutely suck. I didn’t even consider seeing Disaster Movie, and now that I’ve typed it out, I’m considering it. Excuse me while I get the Pepto Bismol [gagging noises]. But seriously, these movies aren’t exactly made for people who can read, or concentrate for longer than four minutes at a time, –unless Nascar is involved. So see it, if you want, but don’t freak out about it. I think every vampire fan probably owes it to themselves, to have a laugh at their own expense once in a while, so I’m encouraging you to see it for the comedic value, without taking it personally.