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144

Why Do You Want to be a Vampire?

Here at Vampires.com we have a lot, and I mean A LOT, of people leaving comments begging someone to turn them into a vampire. It’s an everyday thing and honestly, I usually just ignore these hundreds of requests. But while reading the latest ones it started to get me thinking – why? Why do you want to be a vampire? Why do you want it so badly that you’d beg every single day for someone to turn you?

Don’t get me wrong, I love vampires too, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. I mean, I guarantee my vampire book collection would rival anyone else’s. So yes, I see the appeal, I understand the fascination for these undead creatures of the night. But if you sit down, and genuinely put some thought into it, can you tell me why being a vampire would be so fantastic? Because after serious consideration, I just don’t see it.

So to get a better understanding, I went back through and read the comments left by readers who want to be a vampire and one thing that I read over and over again is, “I’m not happy as a human, I want to be a vampire!” Ok, please tell me how being a vampire will suddenly make you happy? Have you ever heard of a happy vampire? In all the books, shows and movie you watch, how often are the vampires happy? 9 times out of 10 they are all dark and brooding, drowning in self-pity and barely functioning. Lestat, Angel, Edward, Damon… and on and on, they’re all miserable and hate what they are. All of them crave their humanity; they miss it and hate the monster they have become. So where are you guys getting the idea that being a vampire will make you happier?

The second comment that was repeated many times was, “Please turn me! Being human is boring!” Uh, becoming an immortal will change that how? It reminds me of a quote by Susan Ertz: “Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.” If you’re bored with the short time you have as a mortal, how will eternity fix that? Yeah, it doesn’t make sense, does it?

Now, I am not completely oblivious, I can see where being a vampire would kickass. You’ve got power, lots of power, and who doesn’t want that? You also have a certain freedom that humans don’t have. But really, when you think about it, the negatives greatly outweigh the positives.

Before I end this I have one more question for the wannabe vamps – what breed of vampire do you think you will turn into? Will you be like the vampires in Twilight, like the vampires in Anne Rice’s novels, the vampires of True Blood, the vamps in The Vampire Diaries? If vampires are in fact real, how do you know that they are like the pretty and powerful vamps in your favorite books and shows? You don’t know.  Do you want to turn into a vampire like the one pictured above? Because they could very well be disgusting monsters and not the beautiful immortals created in the imaginations of writers. Keep that in mind.

– Moonlight

Moonlight (aka Amanda) loves to write about, read about and learn about everything pertaining to vampires. You will most likely find her huddled over a book of vampire folklore with coffee in hand. Touch her coffee and she may bite you (and not in the fun way).
Angelbecoming a vampirebeing a vampireDamonedwardLestatvampireVampires

Moonlight • February 18, 2011


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  • kid death

    Ok i have to step in because im full blooded its way more worst being a vampire then a human because you must stay indoors during the day and only be able to travel at night immortality itsnt fun either you can have close friends and then you will have to watch them die

  • kid death

    So you aren’t born like i was both my parents were vampire and im pure blood are you telling me that you did bipidibopidiboo and you transformed into a quarter vampire

  • Loangelis M

    First one does not simply be turned .. Most are chosen to live when all die ..eternal death .. Sleep and yet walk and hunger

  • Martina

    I want to be a vampire becuase human life is boring and I want to live for ever so I can do everything I ever wanted to do so if a vampire is reading this please make me one of you please.

  • Kaceanna L.

    I want to be a Vampire because i want to live immortal . my life is too short … I want to protect my family … I want everything that Vampire have …. Please find someone can turn me to be Vampire …

    Please anyone can find someone can turn me to be a Vampire please email me quienzxelle27castillon@gmail.com

    • Melissa Leman

      What good is immortality if you have to watch everyone you’ve ever loved die?

  • Callidora

    I want to be turned because I have been sick. I don’t want to remain sick. I love the night. I always have, I want all that is vampire. Strength, beauty, speed, immortality. When I think of being a vampire l think of wanting to be like selene in the Underworld movies. I think that would be pretty cool.

    • CindiXGaming :3

      how are you sick? :< i mean if your sick that bad then whatever….

      • Callidora

        I read another post of yours. To Richard l feel vampires are a race that eat a different way than we do. If you you eat a rare steak you are taking the blood the life force for all mammals into your body is that cannibalism? Alternate ways of staying alive and well is how vampirers servive. I feel that their lifestyle should be respected. For me vampires are a part of our world, the more l learn about them the more l respect them. If they do live forever maybe it’s us humans they tolerate in their world?

      • Callidora

        I have MS. That causes all kinds of things. My heart skipping bad every day because of it. I love life. I use to be very active. I have a black belt in Ed Parker karate. Believe me that Ms slowly takes away everything that I use to be able to do. I am a shell of what I use to be. I have always felt the pull of being a vampire. But lacking the tools to find a vampire until now to become a member of their family.

  • Callidora

    With what l have read l was wondering why Vampires are reluctant to turn a human that asks? I would love to have a friend that was a real vampire.

  • Sophia

    I am shunned already, if I look one way everyone comes to me, if I look another everyone stays away. I am tired of being a recluse, i am weak, of no use to anyone. We both know this world is not kind to the weak. Society has no use for me, So give me the strength to be more than a decoration in my empty feeling home.

    • Avadicious Draconion

      There’s a lot of branches of vampires, I’m a psychic vampire, and we have powers, rejection from humans are a natural experience, if your turned make sure your not running from the world, because as a vampire you know more about ghost’s and demons and all the hidden things science has crushed underfoot

      • Callidora

        I agree !

  • Sophia

    one more thing; I don’t believe being a vampire will solve my issues. I’m broken, not a pretender. Feed on me until I’m just about to die if you must, but turn me into a vampire.

  • Jasmine gray

    Can vampires turn disabled people

    • Callidora

      I would hope so. I’m disable and want to be turned. I have Ms and l have had a few years of being able to do things. Far to short of time. just need to find a vampire friend willing to turn me.

      • Jasmine gray

        I’m really sorry to hear that. I stuggle doing things now I can’t get out my wheelchair without help and my hands get really tied if I’m doing stuff like coloring and writing stuff. And I can’t walk far and it’s going to get even bad. I just really want to be a vampire so I don’t have to put up with this anymore and so that I can hang out with my friends more

        • Callidora

          Sorry you are going through so much. I hope by being on here there are Vampires who are watching and listening to people like us who really want to be vampires. My husband and I want to be turned.

  • Callidora

    Hi, does anyone dream of being turned into a vampire. I have them all the time. The last one l had 3 days ago. I was brought before a powerful vampire. I begged him to please make me one of his family. He had me come closer to him. He leaned in and said he would help me. He bit me on the neck, opened a place on his wrist for me to drink. I gladly did. I was freed from my mortal bonds. No longer had heart problems. I was so happy. I had my beautiful vampire eyes. I was given a tatoo of the coven l was going to be a part of. It was the most wonderful feeling l have ever felt.

  • VampsCreed

    {WELCOME TO THE VAMPIRES CREED}

    Welcome to ( New-World Vampire Kingdom).Do you want to be a vampire,still in human,having talented brain turning to a vampire in a good posture in ten mines time to a human again, with out delaying in a good human posture. A world of vampire where life get easier,we have made so many persons vampires and have turned them rich,you will be assured long life and prosperity,you shall be made to be very sensitive to mental alertness,stronger and also very fast,you will not be restricted to walking at night only even at the very middle of broad day light you will be made to walk, this is an opportunity to have the human vampire virus to perform in a good posture.if you are interested contact us on {vampirescreeds616@gmail.com}

  • sarena shakleford

    I don’t beg people to change me…I would love to be a vampire even if I’m not entirely happy I’m not happy as a human either so its no change tbh aside from all of the “glories” of being a vampire…if any actual vampire wants or will volunteer to change me id be willing

  • lacey hacker

    To whom this may concern, I would love to meet you and I would love to explain why I want to be the immortal of the night. I want to tell you my story and if that is not enough and u feel that I’m not worth it then I will stop but hear me first before you decide. And if u choose to ignore me that’s fine. I shall find someone else who will listen if you do read these comments please email me at l.stanger@yahoo.com
    Securely lacey

  • Callidora

    I have the mental fortitude to be an Immortal. I want the chance prove that. I believe that the lmmortals on this site know who l am. I will keep surching for someone who will take me and mentor me then make me a vampire. I know it’s not about strength and sparkling in the sun. I don’t know what to say to be concidered to one of the chosen. I will keep asking at the hopes l will be chosen.

    • Melissa Leman

      If you cannot understand why being a vampire would be terrible, then you most certainly DO NOT have the mental fortitude to be an immortal.

      • Callidora

        So you are a vampire? instead of insualing people on here why don’t you explain what it is really like to be one. I dont’ intend to kill anyone if I were a Vampire. Maybe they don’t have to kill anyone or take blood from a blood bank. I’m sure they have a way to have blood subatute concidering they live forever. They have had a lot of time to discover that kind of thing.

  • April Zoppa

    Please read this comment. I know you ussually ignore these comments and there is a big chance you will also ignore mine. But please read this and please put some thought into this. All my life I have wanted to become a vampire. NOT because I am miserable. NOT because I think humans are boring. NOT because I want to be happy and have fun. NOT because I want to be like the vampires in the tv shows and movies. I want to become a vampire for the simple fact that having fangs and drinking blood interest me. I personally think that is extremely cool and awesome. Also I would love to be able to have power and immortality but I would use it for good and not meccisarily show it off I would try to hide my vampire self because I do not want people begging me to turn them or scientists wanting to do tests on me or people who would want to kill me.Also being a vampire is way more than that. They are unique and different. The vampire species is not billions like humans are. And I wish to be unique and different like vampires are. Be one of the few vampires. Also like I said before I wish to not use my vampire self to make me popular or special to others but purely for myself because the aspect of a vampire lures me in. Also I am a person who enjoys the “darkness” now the ” darkness ” is not meccisarily bad it’s just how you look at it. Vampires are considered darkness because of the perspective people have towards the movies and books written about them. But the darkness vampires contain can be good . For example vampires don’t have to kill they just have to drink blood . Also just because vampires could use their powers for bad that doesn’t mean they have to. Anyway back to my point. I enjoy the “darkness” because in my perspective it’s good as long as you do not misuse it and the “darkness” facinates me. I absolutely love it. Also I do NOT wish to become a vampire to affect people I do not like or to fix an illness I have or to change anything about my current life. I know being a vampire will NOT change who I am or the state of health or happiness I am in. I just love every fact about a vampire even though there are a lot of negatives I am willing to overlook. “With something good there is always something bad” it’s a fact of life. Also I do not know everything good and bad that comes with being a vampire and I want it to be that way I want it to be somewhat of a surprise not knowing exactly everything I want it to be a surprise. Also I wish to feel the pain of becoming a vampire to be bitten yes it will extremely hurt but I want to go through something bad to get something good and I am curious how bad being bitten is. Please email me. I really wish to become a vampire. I searched and prayed for years to become one and have gone through fraud because I was stupid enough to believe something. Anyway as I was saying please email me I would be very grateful and please turn me or help me find someone to turn me. I wish to become a vampire. Please email me.

    • Melissa Leman

      So you basically have stated you want to be a vampire so you can drink the blood of others?!? BECAUSE EATING HUMAN BEINGS APPEALS TO YOU?!?!

      • Avadicious Draconion

        That’s not The only kind of vampire out there

    • Avadicious Draconion

      What’s your email

    • CindiXGaming :3

      okay… thats your fetish … im not going to bother with that…

  • anthony frosch

    I’ve been alone my whole life and I can’t sleep at night all I ever wanted was to spread my wings and take flight please excuse my delight for the life of the night but I don’t like most so I stay out of sight

  • Melissa Leman

    All of you wishing to be a vampire truly don’t understand what being a vampire truly entails. Sure, you could rob blood banks instead of killing, but you’re still taking someone’s life by making it so they can’t get the blood they need should they get into an accident…you’re still indirectly killing someone.

    And what good is immortality is you have to watch everyone you’ve ever loved die, knowing you can never join them?
    What good are superpowers when you have so many different weaknesses, most of which are harmless to others? Did you know Roses burn vampires? Roses, one of the most beautiful known flowers.

    What do you find appealing about this?

    And if you bothered to read traditional stories, once you become a vampire, the old you is DEAD. Lucy in Dracula was gone, her soul was gone. She was no longer Lucy, and only restored to her former self a few seconds before she died, after being impaled, long enough to thank her killers.

    I think The Major from Hellsing Ultimate puts the cons of being a vampire very well:

    “He wears the guise of a man, but I never thought of him as one, or even as a vampire, for that matter. He is king and castle, both. His dominions over the stiks, the untold deads he’s drowned in it, his subjects.

    What cost, victory? What ploy will leave him in the dust? These questions run through my mind every waking moment. Thoughts of him even invade my dreams leaving me crying out for bloodshed.

    And now, at long last, our war has dawned.

    I bring all that I am to this fight, body and soul, but is it enough? How can our arsenals compare? He can change form, summon familiars, bend men to his will, and the taste of human blood brings him life anew…and these powers, he can call upon as quickly as a man might blink!

    But I take the stage with nothing. Why, do you ask? Because I am a human being.

    To be a vampire, to taste life eternal and wage war throughout the centuries, what a perfect existence!

    …But that, is a bridge too far. I cannot embrace undeath!

    Vampirism is brilliant. One can cough another’s soul like a vintage eiswein (Ice Wine) and steal everything that defines them.

    To gain by losing, what a delicious irony! It is the bliss of acquiesce. It is the bliss of…surrender.

    And so I say, ‘To Hell with you! What’s mine is mine alone. Every hair, every drop of blood…I am me. I am me. I. Am. Me! You are ruin, made flesh, made beautiful. You are loved, and so I despise you.'”

    And then again before he dies:

    “Deny it all you want. My humanity is not in question. I still have that one trait that puts us in ascendance even above the angels.

    It is my will that drives me.

    The vampires that you were so happy to keep in your employ…without the life blood of others to keep them going, they would shamble to a halt. If it’s a monster you want, look no further than Alucard , and this little one, playing at immortality.

    Don’t mention me in the same breath as that fraud. The moment I am propelled by my own unadulterated will, I become heir to something Alucard can only steal.

    Even if I were reduced to nothing more than a brain in a jar, synapses firing in a sea of pure thought…

    I am human just like you are. Within me rests a human soul…and a human’s will, precious beyond all worth.”

    It’s pretty bad when the Nazi gets it, and you guys don’t. It’s bad when the war-crazed Nazi who wants to create a war that will last for thousands of years with his army of Nazi-vampires values his humanity, and sees the value in humanity, more than you guys do.

    Even Alucard in the series wants to die, but only by a human’s hand, and cries when his rival Anderson makes the same mistake and gives himself immortality. Choosing to not embrace death is weakness.
    HE. CRIED. Anderson choosing to become a monster made Alucard cry.

    • Melissa Leman

      Oh my gosh, reading through the reasons want to be vampires THEY ALL SO SHORT SIGHTED AND SHALLOW!!!!

  • TheCommon HouseTroll

    Well, there are several reasons. The first, obviously, is immortality. I mean, come on. Who doesn’t want to live forever?

    Secondly, vampires are highly enhanced physically. In most interpretations, vampires have superhuman strength, speed, and senses. Personally, I’ve always wanted to have super strength. I also like the idea of being nocturnal. It’s sort of romantic, if you think about it.

    And last but not least, vampires, at least in modern incarnations, are hot. Either they simply stay young and attractive forever, or they actually become more beautiful. Either way, badass.

  • Gyeong-Hwan Jang

    I love Vampires. Yes. But I really don’t care if I turned to be a vampire or not. I’m always alone. I have no one to count on. Life is too short and yet I wasted a lot of years in my life. If I am turned then so be it, if not then so be it. Life is too short after all. If I am turned then I’ll start a new life, If I’m not then I’ll just wait for my misery to end, for my life to end. After all. No one even dared to look at me because for them I am undesirable. That’s why I am always alone. One way or another to be turned or not I’ll get out of my misery. So I don’t usually care. Vampire or not, no one would still look at me. I’m miserable yes and lonely but I’m not the idiot who’ll end her life for being miserable.

  • istogdill

    This should get Moonlight’s attention even, if you read the story of Selene and her love, you will stumble across a poem that is one of… Well I call him the first vampire “mythic ally”

    Long P.S.
    And about myself I creep myself out, hard to explain but I feel as if I think of a person turn around run to a door and they are coming through that door. It only happens oh every day-,-. And it started when I met these three girls on the back of my school bus in middle school (I’m now a senior in HS), they liked my personality and one claimed to be able to take away magic abilities from others… But one day I look at meshira, i tilt my head as she is about to get of the bus and said something like, “your teeth look like vampire teeth…” To this day I question myself what the 12 yr old me was thinking but I remember that one girl I talked about earlier I asked her today and she told me I wasnt a vampire but I believe I was born one idk why… I feel naturally psychic and I won’t lie get sudduced at night to Evanescence :) but I *%^kin love it and eventually if I get sudduced enough I go into a trace and sound like I have a British/African accent. Mainly that girl today is dressing or is wearing a hoodie??? Her name is Tiffany I’m going to save my skin and only say her first name. I don’t even know if there was a vampirism book for dummies but I wish there was one for experts. By the way I remember the first full moon I feel my vampire like puberty kicked in… About 2011, and the exact day was January 21st.
    Blessed be!
    If you do magic don’t abuse it and speak to a higher power before and thank them after, wear a blessed amulet or take your pointer finger, close your eyes and make a pentagram “you know the pagan star symbol” and repeat the star motion and imagine fire where your finger retraced the 3rd to 9th time. Fire is the element of protection in magic -0- duh candles… Well e-mail me at
    isaiahstogdill@hotmail.com
    For more tips or stories I’m calling it a wonderful night.
    Last magic lesson (Ikr lol I’m a talker)
    Spells are just prayers and they don’t have to rhyme… Though they are easier to remember that way, MEDIATION IS KEY BEFORE ANY SPELL.
    fin

  • Callidora

    Hi, l love the story of Selene. It’s a beautiful love story. I also enjoy the music of the group Evanescence. Not because of who they may be but because their music is great. I have asked for some to change me and I’m hoping someone does. I still want to be a vampire. I will have no trouble living forever and if its only a few years I would die a Vampire not Human. I will make a good Vampire. I”M not a child for one. I’m in my 50s FYI and I know what I’m asking for. This is me a diseire I have all my life. Please, If a vampire wants to be friends I feel that would great.

  • Callidora

    I still want to be changed, to become a vampire. Would anyone on here be willing to teach me. I don’t believe what is portrayed in the movies about vampires altough sparkling in the sun would be pretty cool. I have felt the pull to be a vampire most of my life. I don’t know how to explain it. If l get the chance to become one of your family, l would like to have it. I agree with what all are saying about it being hard to be a vampire, how living forever is almost imposible for a human if changed. Any life is hard to live I feel. Just have to go with the flow of each day. I have read many post from Vampires on this site and enjoy reading what they post. I may be part already, I’m not like a regular human. I can’t eat a lot food. I really dont get hungry. I feel the energy of everthing around me and I enjoy the night I know that doesnt make me any part vampire I’m just saying. My eyes are very senative to light dispite the color my eyes are very dark brown , but that color is less senative to light than someone with a light color eyes I must even wear sunglasses at night because the light from on coming cars blindes me. My eye Dr. said that was strange. I dont know if vampires are senative to light. I dont think I have ever met one. My blood isn’t normal eather. l believe I was meant to be chosen to become full vampire to be immortal. So I study and learn. Dont expect me to just meet anyone just they say that they are a vampire. I want to have a mentor to teach me then if I am found worthy change me.

    • Ms. Scarypizza

      I want to be a vampire, but I don’t think I’m ready just yet… there would be a lot of things you would be giving up on… Are you sure you actually want to change your whole lifestyle in one day? Think about it… are you sure you’re ready for that kind of change? I know I’m not… I know a lot about a certain type of vampire species, but from what I have read and searched up I come to realize there is more to being a vampire than just power…

      • Callidora

        Hi, as to the question l am sure l’m ready to give up on everything to become a vampire, absolutely. I would love that kind of change. I feel what am l giving up is worth the price of what l ask for. I have lived this life, l’m an a adventure. I have studied about vampires. I have found out the more l learn. The more I want to be like them.

  • Ms. Scarypizza

    Um, I think that being a vampire is cool and all, but you were born human for a reason… I mean I want to be a vampire too, but I know I’m not worthy of becoming one yet…. YET! I just want to know more about vampires through lore and stories, not teen fiction and movies and TV shows… That would be stupid… :/ Just saying this bluntly I would suggest you read up on the lore of vampirism… It’s more dark and depressing then you think… Though one I’ve read the lore of a Roman Vampire called a Strigoi…I find it to be very intriguing… to how they hunt and how they camouflage and trick people is very smart and fascinating to read about…

  • Ms. Scarypizza

    Sorry I meant Romanian lore

  • StampyLover 345

    I want to become a vampire. Not just for blood, the immortality, the strength or the power….I simply wanna become a vampire because I dream of becoming one…I know the costs and i know what happens if I were to become one and I know the misery of becoming one…. I know I’ve only lived a little while in life (since I’m almost 18) but that’s not why I want to become a vampire…I have a boyfriend….who lives so far away from me I can’t ever meet him….I don’t have my license so I can’t meet him….I wish to meet him using super speed….it’s important because I have been dating him since I was about 15 but haven’t seen him in person…..please if there’s a vampire reading this…I beg of you….please contact me…..please….I need this…not just for perks….but for importance as well…Im also super broken….I cut…from depression and some nights I just wanna end my life….I don’t wanna die…but I get that urge to and I don’t want that urge anymore. Please please please please if there’s a vampire reading this….contact me at jazzywright6899@gmail.com please…..I beg of you….help me….help me become myself again….please….

  • Diana Lopez

    I want to turn because I am sick with cancer and human life is short I have so much respect for it. I love knowing that I am able to live forever and forever is a very long time and I wish to have that

  • Rhea Jessica Peter

    Everyone has their reasons to be a vampire , it could be anything, love , revenge , fear of dying and human life is short and there’s whole world to explore out there and vampirism can be the reason to find love in a different city or country…but everybody has their own reason for wanting to be a vampire…dont be so rude and judgie about people’s choices okay….and its no insult to be/wanting to be a vampire , you sound like a vampire hater yourself ,

  • Denys Frames

    Hello everyone,I want to share a testimony of how Me and my Father were freed from years of cancer by becoming VAMPIRES. I saw a man from the
    internet called Mr. Williams Hurbs who is
    a VAMPIRE so i told him that me
    and my Father would love to
    become VAMPIRES because of our health conditions, we both suffered from cancer. so he asked
    me of my Name ,Country,
    Age ,State , address and asked me
    to pay the sum of $500 to send
    me his blood which i did
    immediately and in the next 3
    days i got the blood sample
    through the DHL which me and
    my Father took in the blood
    into our body and in the next 30
    minutes we turned into VAMPIRES, and in four days time we discovered that our cancer was gone.
    so if you are interested in
    becoming a VAMPIRE. FIRST:
    Vampires is not at all like in the
    movies or books, Sure. I
    understand. You are young; you
    have the whole world open to you.
    You can be anything that you
    choose if you apply yourself and
    try hard to work towards that goal.
    But being a vampire is not what it
    seems like. It’s a life full of good,
    and amazing things. We are as
    human as you are.. It’s not what
    you are that counts, but how you
    choose to be. Do you want a life
    full of interesting things? Do you
    want to have power and influence
    over others? To be charming and
    desirable? To have WEALTH, GOOD HEALTH,
    and LONGEVITY? contact the
    vampires temple today via
    email: vampiretemple1@gmail.com

  • Lawlner Fenlous

    Time to go deep with this one. I don’t beg for such things for my goal is to die as early as possible without the act being caused by the self, but I wish not to exist in the after life as something to be interacted with in any way shape or form. An if i were to be given the opportunity I would accept as to ensure my afterlife will be without everything. elaboration is my immortality will be in solotude forever. an yes I am selfish to a certain point of view.
    but I don’t want to be brought to heaven nor hell. they are both a type of paradise to me. I live as if I’ve I am already dead. minimal thought unless it is to comprehend my just an mean of my actions an reaction to everything around me. I can feel every emotion there is an pull them apart as I please. my base is nothing before everything.. can you feel that right now… I know you can… don’t deny it for the connection isn’t severed an you know who you are…
    I could go on an on but what will that do when your all the way over there…

    Why the fk do I want to be a vampire? good question…
    The power I’d have would obviously make me feel more than words can descride but would make me care just as little as to nothing as I do now about what I’d do with it all.
    I’d finally have a way to cease all interaction with others family and friends much less people in genral. since I’ve lived everyday since I could comprehend myself as something that exists. sure I’ve enjoyed being around my friends and family but since realization I’ve been nothing but putting on a show/ playing a game with my own an others emotion till it gave me nothing in return.
    all the negative of being human are more like gains than anything. like feeling or physical expression is enormous an even greater knowing you have limits on grand scales witch make me look farther at what I can do but when put into action not just the response of how others give to me have no real effect no matter the direction.. it’s like being in a movie where you can see every outcome no mater how strait forward or twisted it is the ending is clear. how I’ve presented this isn’t even my own comprehension as if it’s not my words but it is as I thought to put into words my own.. feels different I know you can feel the sudden change in the back of your mind…
    now there’s the position witch is close to what I want but I don’t want near close.

    one question: why the he’ll are people asking to be found?.. for one if they were found I wonder how fast that heart would beat?…

    I’ve took into every aspect of the question just never really worded it in straight forward cases. life is very much short but it can feel as long as you wish it to be so I’d say the feeling of an end comes from the fear of you not wanting it to end.

    . . . . . . . I can see no out some to this except an ominous feeling.. disturbing not at all… New to some degree…

    I kept going on an I also stopped
    so should I keep going…

  • Brandon Bradley

    What if you already are a monster? I can feel the monster inside of me. I long to let him out. And becoming a vampire will allow me to do that without fearing the consequences. As for a GOOD reason, how about the fact that I have never known love? Becoming a vampire will give me eternity to find love…all the time in the universe. And I would also have the means to spent forever with the one I choose. I will never find love with the brief time I am currently allotted. In my eyes, the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. I can live with the thirst for blood as I already suffer from bloodlust. I crave it. I love to fight. As for being forced to spend forever in darkness, I tell you that I have never seen the light. And brooding? Hating themselves? That is because they were forced to become a vampire, they did not choose to. And they crave their humanity because they lost a portion of it due to their maker. I lost a portion of mine due to suffering beyond your ability to comprehend. And I remember every bit of it. I remember knowing I was different when I was just four years old. I remember the house we lived in when I was two. At least I remember it the last time I saw it. I remember every single time I was bullied, and there were many of them. The adults bullied me as well. The people chosen to protect people from being bullied were the ones doing a portion of the bullying. And just because I was born different. If I can’t fit in, then the logical choice is to become as different as I can. And if I am to do that, why not receive a shit ton of power as well? That way, I will have the means to defend myself, and punish those stupid enough to attempt to bully me for something I had no control over. After all, I did not ask to be born with autism. So why should I be forced to live my entire life devoid of love and acceptance because of it? Why should I be treated like I am a monster because of something I had no say in? If people treat you like shit long enough, you become capable of unspeakable evil. In fact, you crave it. Such is my lot in life. I have become more and more wicked because of the evil of those around me. There is almost no good left in me. And what remains isn’t going to be there for much longer. Vampirism is my salvation. It is my way of saving myself from me. So why shouldn’t I become a creature of the night?