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10 Vampires (Other Than Dick Cheney) to Run Against Trump

Who would you vote for?

1. Vaun from ‘The Strain’

vaun

He’s not even half as insane as his psycho-procreators, and he seems to have an idea about keeping his need to feed under control. I feel like… we could go far with this guy as our world dictator.

2. Gary Oldman’s Version of ‘Dracula’

dracula

Oh I know, he’s an obvious choice; he has an appreciation for music, art, sure, but think about it, in history, Vlad Tepes was a badass conqueror, tactician, and kept his country safe from Turkish invader. I have no doubt he could run the planet successfully.

3. Armand from ‘Interview with the Vampire’

armand

This is more or less my joke entry, or my first one. No, I don’t really believe he could run the planet. He couldn’t even manage a shitty theatre company, let alone of country, and least of all, the entire planet. Seriously, you’d think this guy would have thought to get an MBA during his long, long, long, long life.

4. Bill Compton of ‘True Blood’

bill compton

Sure, he can get a bit emotional, but his presidency was successful, and he had great ideas for making stuff work. All in all, I think he’d be okay leading the planet as a whole. He totally nailed the politician thing.

5. Dr. Carlisle Cullen of ‘The Twilight Saga’

carlisle

The guy is soft spoken, understands a woman’s rights, and a pretty progressive thinker; plus, he manages a family composed of eternally dramatic teens and early 20-somethings. And he plays baseball. As an American, I’m convinced.

6. Jerry Dandridge from ‘Fright Night’

jerry

I’m not just picking hot vampires, or vampire film leads at random people, there is meaning behind my madness: Jerry Dandridge was successfully shady for a long time before a kid caught him. He’s seductive, old school, and a master of artifice. He would be a boss at world politics in no time.

7. James Bishop of ‘Being Human’

bishop

He led London, and he led… whatever city it is they’re in during the Canadian version. Anyway, point being, he was actually a really successful leader. Things didn’t really start to go downhill until he put his faith in the wrong people. His plan for world domination would have worked. Eventually.

8. Stefan Salvatore from ‘The Vampire Diaries’

stefan

He doesn’t get the credit he deserves, but I think with a couple poli-sci classes under his belt, Stefan could pull it off. Besides, he struggles with an addiction and impulse control issues. He’d make a great political leader. #StefanforPresident

9. Sang-hyun from ‘’Thirst’

thirst

He’d make a great world leader because, first, he’s Asian, and they’ve always wanted to do it anyway, and second, because he has a sense of loyalty, duty, and respect. But… he’s also kind of a badass and willing to do the right thing at any cost.

10. Larten Crepsley from ‘Cirque du Freak’

crepsley

He not only has an intrinsic knowledge of vampire politics, but he’s also very clever, and probably the most accidentally whimsical character we’ll ever meet in vampire movies. He’s also a believer in ‘less is more’ as far as the blood diet thing goes. We’d live peacefully under the watchful eyes of… John C. Reilly… as Crepsley.

annimi • August 12, 2015


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