A Word to the Unwise
I get a lot of requests from people wanting me to transform them into vampires, or wanting me to tell them how to transform themselves into vampires. I don’t even bother responding, most of the time. I don’t know if these are people who are mentally disturbed, or if the requests are from children, or if they’re just from people who are enjoying the fantasy of roleplay. I’ve written articles in which I explain as best I can that one cannot be transformed into a vampire, not the kind of vampire that you encounter in books or movies, because such a creature simply does not exist. It’s fiction. If there *are* any kind of supernatural entities that could in any way, shape, or form be described as vampiric, it isn’t possible to be turned into one of them, either, as they are non-human, supernatural entities. As far as Sanguinarians go—human beings who consume blood—I don’t know if there really is some unknown physical need that drives it. I do know some credible people who are Sanguivores and who claim to be possessed of such a physical impetus. But if that is true, it still isn’t possible for a person to simply be turned into one of them. The most you could achieve is to become a regular, purely mortal human being who drinks blood. That would not make you a vampire. The same thing is true of “psychic vampires,” or people who claim to feed on energy from other people. You can’t just “turn into” one.
As of late, a new phenomenon is occurring. There are unscrupulous individuals operating online who claim to possess some kind of secret knowledge. They promise to turn you into a vampire, as long as you pay them the required fee. I know they say that a fool and his money are soon parted, and perhaps it is inevitable, but I can at least try to provide something here in the way of a public service announcement.
Folks, anybody—ANYBODY—who claims to be able to turn you into a vampire, and offers to do so in exchange for money, is a scam artist. Nothing more. Don’t be stupid.
If you are really that determined to throw your money away, you can always send it to me. (Insert smug smiley emoji here.) I can’t turn you into a vampire. But I can recommend some books and movies for you.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!