It would seem that if one lived forever as a vampire, one would accumulate a ton of superfluous junk over time, don’t you think? Vampires can live for millions of years – moving from one country to another if so desired – collecting things such as property, clothing of the time, and even lovers. So then I question you, what would a creature of this nature truly need? Let us take a look at some items that may make a vampire’s necessary shopping list…
Holy Water Antidote- Holy water seems to be an item of the past; this blessed potion used to burn the skin right off of the almighty winged one. Holy water was also one of very scarce ways to fend the demonic master off. With the holy water antidote, any vampire can be safe from harm … just in case. To be more efficient, this should probably be kept in a crucifix-shaped necklace – think Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions.
Stake Remover- It’s no surprise that the stake in the heart trick is still popular even in today’s ever-changing rulebook of vampire etiquette. The stake is an efficient way to rid your life of vampires; you simply sharpen a stick to the point where it can protrude through flesh and you’re set. By having a stake remover, you don’t have to fall to your sudden death! Carry this puppy anywhere you go; if you get stuck (pun intended), just remember what it was like when mama took a splinter out of your wee little finger.
Fang Sharpener Kit- Do I really have to explain this one? No one likes a vampire with dull fangs!
Note: None of these products actually exist yet, but it would be cool if they did!
What would you carry around if you were a vampire?