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Baking Horrors, Part One

I would have counted cooking shows only slightly higher than singing competitions in my estimations. They occupy one level of Dante’s Inferno above that occupied by the latter, but they’re still a torment of hell. This past week, though, I made a discovery. If you put a specific spin on a standard cooking show, I will, if you’ll excuse the pun, eat it up. That spin? It has to be a Halloween-themed cooking show. The goodies the bakers are making have to be Halloween designs. I’ve never watched the Food Network in my life. I spent hours there this past week, watching shows like HALLOWEEN BAKING CHAMPIONSHIP (where they threw their competitors in the “vampire buffet” baking challenge a curveball by ordering they include **black garlic as one of their ingredients), HALLOWEEN WARS, and OUTRAGEOUS PUMPKINS.

I have fallen in love with this stuff. I will legitimately miss it when October is over, and look forward to it coming back next Halloween. The only downside is that I cannot sample the ghoulish goodies that are concocted on these programs. It would make me a little sad to eat them anyway, as they are works of Art as much as foodstuffs, but knowing that they wouldn’t last long anyway, I think I could do it.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.

Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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