Barnabas Collins Ventriloquist Dummy

First off, I wouldn’t suggest calling him a dummy.

Secondarily, this Barnabas Collins Ventriloquist DOLL was never really produced. It was never available for sale. But I sure wish it was. Like, right now. ‘Cause I’d have to buy one.

If you are sufferer from automatonophobia but are conversely a mark for DARK SHADOWS, I feel for you just now. I really do. What a cognitive dissonance to suffer through!

Thinking about it, there were so many missed opportunities back in the 60s/70s where DARK SHADOWS was concerned. Given its incredible popularity, it’s surprising that more DARK SHADOWS licensed products weren’t offered. There was the board game, and that’s about it. Where were the action figures? The playsets? The Funkos? Oh, right, Funko wasn’t around back then. But, hey, where are the Funkos NOW?! Funko, why don’t we have DARK SHADOWS figures, huh?!

T-shirts, breakfast cereals, jewelry, etc. They could have made a mint. Why did nobody ever think of it? Within six years of DARK SHADOWS going off the air, a little movie called STAR WARS would show the world just how lucrative a toy line could be. It could have been, and SHOULD have been, DARK SHADOWS instead.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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