Because I Have To: FIRST KILL

Can you sense my enthusiasm? I don’t think you can sense my enthusiasm. I don’t think I can sense it, either. Maybe somebody with a microscope could detect it. An electron microscope. They’re the only kind capable of magnifying atoms to a size that can be observed, or so my middle school Science teacher told me.

Ah, FIRST KILL. Executive produced by Emma Roberts. Can you sense my enthusiasm for Emma Roberts? She’s been run into the ground for me, thanks to her endless appearances on AMERICAN HORROR STORY, playing characters I almost never like. And the premise of the show: a lesbian teenage love story between a vampire and a vampire hunter. “When it’s time for teenage vampire Juliette (Sarah Catherine Hook) to make her first kill so she can take her place among a powerful vampire family, she sets her sights on a new girl in town named Calliope (Imani Lewis). But much to Juliette’s surprise, Calliope is a vampire hunter, from a family of celebrated slayers. Both find that the other won’t be so easy to kill and, unfortunately, way too easy to fall for.” Ye gods, but that sounds positively *atrocious*.

But report on it I must. So here’s the trailer. Geeze, Louise, it looks even worse than it sounds!

Awright. I’ve gotten scolded by the bosses in the past for being too hard of popular vampire-related material. I don’t wanna get in trouble, so I’ll just say how much I’m looking forward to the forthcoming season of WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS!

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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