Billy the Kid once said any man who loves chili can’t be all bad. Well, any man who hates TWILIGHT . . .

In a postscript, Veiovis expresses his “sincere condolences to the families involved in this tragic case.”

When I first read about Caius Veiovis, a convicted killer and professing “vampire” who sports horns and a forked (i.e. split) tongue, I thought, “That does sound like a vampire name.” Immediately followed by the thought, “Probably means it isn’t his REAL name.” My hunch was right. Veiovis’ original moniker was the not-at-all-vampirish Roy Gutfinski. Good call changing it, there, dude. I can’t imagine a vampire named “Roy.” To be fair, now, it doesn’t seem that Veiovis’ predilection for vampirism had much bearing, if any, on the crimes for which he was convicted, but was incidental.

I mention Mr. Veiovis only for the following reason, his opinion of TWILIGHT. Veiovis stated: “I have never seen this silly movie, nor have I read the books, nor would I ever — even now — waste my time with such useless drivel.” Which is exactly how I feel about the books and the movies. (Although “useless drivel” might be a little too kind.) Look, I’m not commenting any on his case, a’ight, as I haven’t studied up on it. And I in no way want to make light of the crimes for which he was sentenced. All I’m saying is, the guy does have SOME taste, at least. A proud member of Team Edward he ain’t.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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