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Blood in the Basement

As opposed to bats in the belfry? Given the choice between the two, I’d have to opt for the bats. Bat urine doesn’t smell all that great, as anyone who has ever been exposed to large quantities of it can attest. But I’m willing to bet it would smell better than a cellar full of congealed blood. As it stands, where I live I have neither a belfry nor a basement. Still I would take the bats. Bats are cute. I love bats. As I sit typing these words, my newest tattoo is in the process of healing. It is a depiction of a bat. I dig on bats.

The Lestina family of Bagley, Iowa got the blood instead of the bats. Their basement recently filled with blood—animal blood, that is—to a depth of several inches. They live next door to a meat locker, you see. The neighbors’ pipes backed up, and those pipes are connected to the Lestina’s pipes, and it got all kinds of messy. “[The owners] haven’t reached out at all,” says the Lestina patriarch. “In fact, they haven’t taken any accountability for it. They say it’s not their fault and told me ‘good luck.’ If I want to do anything about it, it’s on my dime and my schedule.” Oh, that’s gotta have a whole army of ambulance-chasin’ lawyers salivating at the prospects. The owners of the meat locker, though, have apologized and claim they *are* cooperating. We here at take no sides in this dispute. We just find it interesting, dealing as it does with the proper red stuff.

Me, yeah, I’d rather have a cellar filled with bats.

TheCheezman • October 29, 2019

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