Bring Back the BLIND DEAD!!!
Watching the excellent new Horror flick A QUIET PLACE this past weekend, I couldn’t help being a little bit distracted, thinking of the way the new movie proves that the old “Blind Zombies” shtick could work. It could work extremely well.
For those who don’t know, the Blind Zombies are variously known as the Blind Dead, the Evil Dead, or simply as the Templars. They starred in four films, TOMBS OF THE BLIND DEAD (aka THE NIGHT OF THE BLIND TERROR), 1972; RETURN OF THE BLIND DEAD, 1973; THE GHOST GALLEON, 1974; and NIGHT OF THE SEAGULLS, 1975. They’re Spanish productions, directed by Amando de Ossorio, and, despite the stars looking creepy-cool as hell, the movies are also hokey as hell. Melodramatic acting, chintzy special effects, ridiculous slow-motion sequences, implausibly stupid characters: the Blind Zombies flicks have it all. They are wonderful. I wouldn’t ever want to change them. But if one were made today, and handled properly, it could be so frighteningly effective.
The Zombies were Knights Templar who fell into corruption and necromancy back during the Middle Ages, sacrificing many a nubile young woman before the authorities put the kibosh on their atrocities. Before they were executed, the Knights were blinded. So they wouldn’t see it coming, perhaps. (A more effective and dramatic alternative to the standard blindfold.) When the Templars rise from the dead as bloodsucking zombies, they’re still blind. They hunt by sound, just like the monsters in A QUIET PLACE. There is such potential for terror in that setup. If you’re watching one of the Blind Dead movies, you’ll never stop laughing long enough for the movie to generate anything approximating fear. Oh, but it COULD. Remove the jokiness and pour in some gravitas, and you’d have a reeeeeeeally good Horror movie. Not that the four Blind zombie flicks aren’t great in their own right. They are. But I want a serious, big-budget remake!
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.
Denn die totden reiten schnell!