Bye-bye, Skremes! (and, I am a Sucker)

“Coming to you this Spooky season! Our enchanting doughnuts are flying in on their brooms from 10/11 to 10/31 – don’t miss these treats!” When Krispy Kreme tweeted that message, they failed to mention just how rapidly those delightfully adorable donuts (or doughnuts, if you prefer using extra letters) would be flying *out* on their brooms. I went to Krispy Kreme twice, and neither time did they have any of the Halloween treats. Not only that, I was informed that they weren’t even planning to bake any more that day. Was there some kind of shortage of the specific magical dough that Krispy Kreme failed to inform the public about? Or is it just that the employees at my nearest Krispy Kreme are lazy and didn’t want to deal with making them? Both times I asked the employee answering me wasn’t particularly polite about it, so it may well have been a case of the latter.

As far as Halloween and foodstuffs, though, I may not have gotten my donuts (or doughnuts, if you still prefer using extra letters) but I did get my Tomato Blood from Heinz. Yeah, it’s just ketchup. Plain old ketchup. But they slap a special label on it and dub it “tomato blood” and they’ve got a guaranteed sale. I even bought two bottles, one to use on my fries and one to sit on the bookshelf next to my cursed honey.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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