Collectible Coffee

I recently bought some HAUNTED HONEY that I have no intention of ever consuming, so it wouldn’t be any different, really, for me to buy some of this coffee, even though I don’t drink coffee. Dead Sled Coffee has several themed brands available for purchase, bags and varieties honoring Bela Lugosi, Vampira, and now Robert Englund, Freddy Krueger himself. My Haunted Honey came in a jar, though, whereas these packages of coffee come packaged in…bags of coffee. If I’m buying something for collectible purposes, I want a more durable container. Visually the bags are nice enough, but they’d be so easy to puncture. A shame they didn’t have the rights to use Freddy’s image, though. They couldn’t call Bela “Dracula” either, but there’s no mistaking that face, and if any *were* left in doubt, the tagline—“A smooth rich roast for creatures of the night (and the day)”—leaves no room for doubt.

Ah, but they got creative with the packaging for Robert Englund’s special blend, too, and in a way that tapdances around copyright laws. Notice the slash marks on the coffee cup Mr. Englund is holding? And notice the ugly sweater coloration of the bag. Looks awfully familiar, dunnit?

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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