Cool Stuff On My Christmas List, Part Two

Oh, to lie down on this coffin-shaped sofa and take a nap! It looks so inviting, so comfy. I love the polished mahogany (or whatever kind of wood this is), the rich, plush purple of the velvet cushioning—oh, wait, it also comes in red or black! The inner lining of Dracula’s cape is usually red, so I think I’d prefer that one, please. And it’s a custom-made piece, so each one made is unique, a true work of art. Yeah, if I was disposable income rich, you can bet I’d be ordering one of these post haste. Ooh, and it even closes up, like a real coffin! That way I could keep the lush velvet free of cat hair! And I wouldn’t have to kill them (i.e. the cats) for scratching it up!

Now I can’t honestly say that the couch would be comfortable to sit or lie on based solely on this photograph provided. I’ve napped before on an antique, Victorian-era sofa that looked just gorgeous but wasn’t much softer that the floor. (I was working as a docent at an historic mansion at the time, and, well, I got sleepy.) Still, I’d be buying it more for the coolness factor than the comfort, anyway. Then again, the first time I dropped jelly or spilled a drink on it, I’d have a come-apart, so maybe it’s just as well that I admire it from afar. – On second thought, naaaaaaaaaaaah. I wants it, precious!

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.

Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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