Do you like your blood substitute with or without caffeine?
As a Vampire in need of blood, I know how hard it is to obtain the real thing without a donor to extract from. That’s why I have a solution: BloodLust! The Real tasting, authentic feeling blood substitute for the Vampire Hoard!
What? Seriously, WHAT? A blood substitute product for the practicing vampire, because real blood is hard to attain? (Legally, that is.) Same great taste, less filling? I can’t believe it’s not hemoglobin? Seriously, now. WHAT. THE. HELL. Is this for real? Poe’s Law is totally applicable here. (The dictum, for those unfamiliar, states that, on the Internet, if somebody posts something, and you don’t know that person and if they don’t in some way indicate which it is, then the post could be either serious or it could be satirical. You just never know.) So is this an actual thing? True Blood, from the series, is a blood substitute. Fake blood, basically. So is this fake true blood, fake-fake blood? Fake blood squared?
Okay. If it’s serious, I applaud that there is a product available for blood drinkers to serve as an alternative to them getting their liquid refreshment from an unwilling donor. And if it’s tongue-in-cheek, the equivalent of a pet rock or a pet ghost in a bottle or something else equally cheesy, I applaud that even more. Actually, now that I think about it, I’m good with it either way. Why the heck not? And yes, I am thinking of buying a vial. Admit it. So are you.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.
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