Who said vampires have to be all dark, broody and serious? Not Matt Melvin, that’s for damn sure. Melvin’s book Dracula Is A Racist is… I don’t even know the words. Let’s go with crazy, hilarious, bizarre, witty… and well, you get the point. Anyway, check out the book description:
Vampires: The 100% Bona Fide Totally Real And Not Made Up At All Truth
In this day and age, the belief in vampires has been dwindling at an exponential rate. Those who still believe in them are often wildly misinformed. So what do you think will happen when Johnny McNormalpants finds himself face to face with a bloodthirsty vampire? Probably crap his pants, but then what? An informed citizen would know exactly what to do in this situation. If only there was some way to enlighten the public about this often forgotten subject, preferably in the form of a mock informative guide or something.
From Matt Melvin, one of the creators of Explosm.net and the hit online comic Cyanide & Happiness, comes Dracula Is A Racist, the definitive guide to vampires, answering those gravely important questions that keep you up at night. . .
Was Dracula really a racist?
How do vampires do their hair if they don’t have any reflection?
Is it gross for immortals to be attracted to high school girls if they’re stuck in a 17-year-old body?
Was Sesame Street ever truly safe from The Count?
Is dressing in all black and acting snobby toward everyone enough to fake being a vampire?
Just how much more badass are vampires than zombies?
Dracula Is A Racist is the essential vampire handbook that digs up all the dirt and backs it up with hard vampirical evidence. That’s totally true. Really.
The second I learned about this book I went right ahead and added it to my book wish list. Then, after reading some excerpts on Matt’s website, I went ahead and deleted it… kidding, I actually moved it to the top of list. That shit’s hilarious.