I really need to start a subcategory for this site entitled GOOD GRIEF! I end up saying it quite a bit. Often enough to warrant its own special designation. In this prospective category I would compile all the reports I chance across that cause me to roll my eyes, laugh with bitterness, or despair for the fate of humanity. This particular post you are reading now would be of the eye-rolling variety.
Dracula’s “son” has proven that he is Dracula’s son. How’d he do that? He drank blood, obviously. That cinches it, then. I’m convinced. Aren’t you convinced? Why aren’t you convinced?
In reality, Vlad Dracula is not known to have ever consumed blood in his lifetime. He was not considered a vampire in his lifetime. And there are no historical records to prove that there are *any* living descendants of his alive today. To be fair, Andreas Bathory—and of course that’s his real name; like, that’s what it says on his birth certificate and everything—claims that he is more of a “spiritual” son to Dracula than a physical one. Convenient, in this day of DNA testing.
Oh, and Bathory claims to sleep in a coffin in Castle Bran. Officials at the castle say otherwise, but what do they know? They just work there. It’s kinda poetic that a fake vampire claims to hang out at Bran, since Bran isn’t really Dracula’s Castle anyway, just a showpiece put forward by the Romanian department of tourism. Doubtless, though, the real Castle Dracula appeared to it in a dream once and pronounced it its spiritual son.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.
Denn die totden reiten schnell!