EVIL DEAD RISE Ain’t Rising for Me

The new EVIL DEAD movie will go straight to livestreaming.

Alright, livestreaming. This means war.

I get that the suits in offices don’t care about the minority of fans who cannot watch content via livestreaming. We aren’t a sizable enough percentage to affect their bottom dollar, so they simply do not care. And I get it. Business is amoral and all that. Money talks. And I’ve for the most part accepted that I’ll just have to wait to see things like STRANGER THINGS, THE MANDALORIAN, and all those Marvel shows when I can track them down on bootleg DVDs on EBay. But the new EVIL DEAD film? No, I will not quietly take being deprived of that one.

EVIL DEAD RISE belongs in the theater. It should be seen up on the big screen. Making it available only via livestreaming on television sets is shortchanging not only the fans but the work itself. It deserves to be treated with more respect than that. You don’t sell A-quality product out of the trunk of some shmuck’s car. That’s what this is. Livestreaming in this case is some sleazy guy hawking knockoff material out of his car in the litter-strewn lot behind the Dollar General. You don’t treat top-dollar movies that way!

I urge you all to NOT watch this movie when it becomes available. Do like I do and wait a couple of weeks and buy it on EBay. That’s the only way we can ensure that quality movies will get the theatrical releases they deserve. DEATH TO LIVESTREAMING!!! LIVESTREAMING DELENDA EST!!!

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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