Faking News: Count Dracula Addresses The Masses Regarding Vampire Rights

Count Vlad Tepes the impaler from Transylvania, properly addressed as Count Dracula, was in city to inaugurate an exhibition on ancient European arts.

If the immensely popular Count Dracula was out and about today, the vampire world would probably shock him. In the article, he refers to the majority of vampire films as being “too gross” and lacking the elegance of vampire films from the past. This is because Dracula is one of those classic figures, and though he is also kind of icky, what with his rapacious wolf-form, turning into rats, and spreading sickness everywhere he goes, I think him calling other vampires gross is sort of like the proverbial pot calling the kettle black. 

I mean… he impaled people in his mortal life, and turned peoples heads around backwards. He was the original badass in terms of torturous lordly types. But it’s also important to remember, that he is completely capable of evolving into a more thoughtful, less crazy old eccentric weirdo. So in today’s age, I think he’s the perfect spokesperson for vampire rights. He also has age and experience on his side, so he can effectively address the humans as well as the vampires in his audience. Dracula should be the new President, if you ask me. 

By annimi

Ashley writes for Vampires.com, Werewolves.com, and other sites in the Darksites Network. She's involved in several seedy and disreputable activities, smokes too much, and spends her late nights procrastinating for work on her first novel.

1 comment

  1. what exactly are “vampire rights?” Is that the same as civil rights? In the past (at least in my novel) vampires were not allowed out in the daylight, were not allowed to talk to Pure human woman or men, were not allowed to get a human woman pregnant, this was all punishable by death. if the vampire got a human woman pregnant, the child was usually taken away from the vampire. Sometimes the baby was killed. In the past, it was not considered murder if you killed someone accused of being a vampire.

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