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When I was a kid, I couldn’t imagine myself ever growing up. Now I know why that is–I never have. And, at this point, I think it’s a safe bet I never will. I was the kid who always feared getting clothes at Christmas. “Some day you’ll WANT to get clothes at Christmas,” my mom assured me. This frightened me. I feared one day waking up and being somehow drastically DIFFERENT, against my own desires. This change would be inevitable, like growing older, like the pimples that came with puberty. Hogwash. (Hey, I was a little kid; I didn’t know any better.) I did grow up–physically. And I do appreciate getting clothes at Christmas. But I still get toys, too. And these days I buy MYSELF toys. It’s a rare thing for me to go into a toy store and not come out with something. (They call adults like me “collectors.” I wish I’d known as a kid that becoming a collector was an option.)

My latest acquisition is “Fangula.” It’s a Hot Wheels car. I don’t typically collect Hot Wheels anymore, except for the anthropomorphic or zoomorphic designs. Fangula is part of the “Fright Cars” series. And TELL me it isn’t based off Drag-U-La, the car from THE MUNSTERS. I mean, how could I NOT buy it? It’s a Vampire Car! And it cost a DOLLAR!

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase here:


TheCheezman • January 30, 2018

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