Fireside Chats: U-Haul Zombies

Again, I feel the need to state this. It is not our intent to make light of real-life tragedy, which this assuredly is. This article is intended as gallows humor, an attempt to lessen the stress caused by the global pandemic we are all currently undergoing. Humor does that. Please accept, then, that this post is made tongue-in-cheek, with no intention to belittle the suffering of those who’ve lost loved ones to this disease. Got it?

People have been dying from coronavirus so quickly in Brooklyn, New York, that a local funeral home couldn’t keep up with them. While waiting to process the bodies, they started storing the surplus in U-Haul trucks, with bags of ice thrown in to keep down the smell. This didn’t work, and it was the smell that alerted police to what was going on. The police ticketed the business but nobody got arrested and the funeral home brought in a bigger, refrigerated truck to store the bodies. The mayor called the action on the part of the funeral home “unconscionable” and it’s understandable why it would be upsetting, but you gotta admire their ingenuity. Necessity is the mother of invention.

Still, the recently deceased can’t be happy with such treatment. I couldn’t help think that there’s the premise for a movie in this. What if the dead were so riled that they all reanimated to seek revenge? Admit it, you’d watch that movie.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.

Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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