For sale by owner. Ignore the bloodstains.

The 13th-century fortress in Transylvania called Bran Castle, and often referred to as Dracula’s Castle, is up for sale by its owners — the Habsburg royal line — and the Romanian government has apparently placed an $80 million bid on the storied mansion.

Oh, for Pete’s sake, this nonsense needs to be put to an end! Castle Bran is NOT Dracula’s castle! It has a tenuous link to the historical Vlad Dracula at best. He MIGHT have stayed there, briefly. Possibly. But this was NOT his residence, or even one of his fortifications. Neither did Bran, as some have suggested, inspire the DESCRIPTION of Dracula’s castle in Bram Stoker’s novel. That it resembles this description is a creepy cool coincidence, but no more. I do understand that the Romanian tourism industry wants us all to believe that Bran is Drac’s palace, because the REAL castle is in ruins and largely inaccessible. People are more likely to come spend money if they think they can visit the castle of the world’s most infamous vampire without risking a neck-breaking fall or an attack by wildlife. There are wolves and bears in the woods surrounding the ruins. Bran is as easy to get to as Disneyland Europe. I say, restore the REAL Castle Dracula! Turn IT into a tourist draw!

All that being said, I sure wish I had the money to buy this place. And yes, I WOULD call it Castle Dracula! Maybe C. D. number 2. Y’know, in the interest of historical accuracy.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.

Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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