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Hallmark Zombies

Yes, we Horror fans have Krampus to keep us feeling warm and fuzzy during the holiday season, and Tim Burton’s NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS. And GREMLINS. But there isn’t a lot of Horror-themed holiday fare, otherwise. This dearth will be further lessened when Hallmark releases two new original THE WALKING DEAD Christmas tree ornaments in early October. Whereas in the past they have offered us ornament versions of Michonne, Rick, and Daryl, and will be releasing a new Daryl on a motorcycle figure, the one that gets me really gassed is the zombie version of Michael Rooker’s character Merle Dixon. Because really, who doesn’t want a zombie hanging from the boughs of your Christmas tree? Especially since the Zombie Nativity Scene won’t be going up again this year. (And I never DID get that T-shirt, ZNS people!)

As cool as the Merle ornament is, though, what I really want to see is a Blind Zombies Christmas tree ornament! You’d buy one, wouldn’t you? If I owned the copyright on the revenant Templars, I’d start a gofundme account to get them made. Maybe I could offer T-shirts to those who submitted donations of ten bucks or more. Like the Zombie Nativity people promised to do. Except I’d actually send said T-shirts to my financial supporters.

(I’m not that bitter about getting gypped on the shirt, honestly, but I figure I might as well get my money’s worth out of it by writing about it, since I didn’t get the actual garment.)

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase here:


TheCheezman • April 27, 2018

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