Impregnated by the Dead
Parental warning: This one ain’t for the kiddies. If you’re a kiddie, stop reading now.
Okay, no, it isn’t true. This is a fake news story. As sure as I played along with it, there’d be somebody who didn’t get that I was in on the joke and might actually believe it and try to pass it off as legitimate, which could lead other, smarter people to erroneously think that THIS site, here, is one of those fake news sources. It isn’t. That’s why, when I comment upon matters of false or dubious content, I always tell my readers. I always post some disclaimer. So yes, then, the story is fake. It never happened. But we can still have some fun with it.
According to the fake story, a 26-year morgue technician in Kansas City, Missouri, would have sex with corpses before she autopsied them. She got pregnant and then got busted.
Yeah, I know. The same questions immediately popped into my mind. I’ve heard–and let me be clear; I have no actual knowledge on the subject–that a dead body CAN achieve an erection. I do not believe it possible that a dead body could reach climax. For that matter, how long can sperm remain alive in the testicles of a dead man? (According to a google search I just performed, they can survive up to a day.) Any of you Science or mortician-type people out there want to weigh in on this?
IF the story were true, though, and IF the woman really did get pregnant, the child would HAVE to be a vampire, right? How could it NOT be?
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!