Inside the Big Black Sarcophagus

That big black sarcophagus unearthed recently in Alexandria, Egypt? The one dating from the Ptolemaic period (something like 305 BC to 30 BC), measuring a massive six-feet high by almost six-feet wide and almost nine feet long, the biggest ever found in that area and one of the largest ever found, period? The one some people were theorizing might belong to Alexander the Great? The one buried nearly twenty feet deep, the one that, with the thoughts of them opening it, had lotsa people nervous? (Come on, we’ve all seen enough Mummy movies to know the routine. And did I mention that the thing is SOLID FREAKIN’ BLACK?) Yeah, THAT sarcophagus?
Well, they opened it. I didn’t even get the chance to report on its discovery before they popped its top.

Doing so did not release any curses—that we know of—but it did reveal three skeletons floating in blood. Sure, the scientists said that it was just red-tinted sewage water, but I know blood when I see it. (I actually think I would have preferred blood, had I been there. Can you imagine the stench?) The jumbled bones are believed to have belonged to soldiers, based on wounds to one of the skulls. But why would mere soldiers warrant such an oversized sarcophagus, even if they were all buried together?

If the scientists are right about the blood not being blood, this could be even worse news. Maybe the dead soldiers would have been content to stay dead and not rise up seeking revenge had they been afforded a nice dry resting place. But after spending gods-only-know how long floating in sewage, they’re bound to be pissed.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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