It’s All Lucille’s Fault

A teenybopper psycho fashioned his own version of Negan’s baseball bat Lucille and used it to brutally bludgeon another kid, who was left permanently injured. The victim’s mother has blamed THE WALKING DEAD. It’s understandable that she would. After all, there have been millions of similar incidents involving people pounding nails into baseball bats, wrapping them in barbed wire, and then bashing in the heads of people they know and dislike. In fact things have gotten so bad that the phenomenon has been given an official name, “Negan Syndrome”, and the trend shows no sign of abating. Louisville Slugger has stopped making and selling baseball bats in an attempt to distance itself from the ongoing tragedy.

Wait, what? None of that is true? None of that happened? Of course it didn’t.

We have here a case of one nutjob—ONE—doing this. A nutjob who, had he not decided to write the word “Lucille” on his baseball bat, would most likely have still used that same bat to commit his crime. A nutjob who probably was not motivated by THE WALKING DEAD in the first place, but even if he was, had there not been such a television show, would surely have been motivated by something else. Because—and you would think this is obvious—the problem is not with the show. The problem is with the nutjob. And nutjobs have been committing heinous acts since well before we had television, or video games, or the Internet, or whatever you want to make a scapegoat out of to excuse the actions of a nutjob.

Studies have proven time and again that watching violent movies or TV shows or playing violent video games does NOT lead to violent behavior on the part of the viewer/player. There has to be something wrong with the person committing the offense to begin with. TV and movies don’t warp people and make them nutjobs. They must be pre-warped to take any inspiration from what they see, and they could take inspiration from literally ANYthing.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.

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