No, Jason from the FRIDAY THE 13TH film series doesn’t drink blood. He isn’t a vampire. He IS a zombie, though. Or was in three of the films. (Parts six through eight, in case you didn’t know. Six and seven are two of my favorites, along with JASON X and the original one.) That’s close enough. Also, I have reported on the new Funko cereals, or “Funk-Os,” previously at this site. And the Jason-Os cereal is supposed to turn your milk blood red. (Put that in parenthesis. “Supposed to.” In all fairness, though, I was using cashew milk, so that may have had something to do with why my milk stayed donnish in color.) All this is appropriate material for a site dedicated to vampires.
Over at our sister site darkness.com this week, I reported on eating the cereal. I actually opened the box (then carefully resealed it, naturally) and poured myself a bowl. I pronounced the cereal itself as only “adequate.” I can now amend my previous review, however. When one is having a blood sugar drop due to medication taken for diabetes at two o’clock in the morning, Jason-Os taste mighty good, even if consumed dry. (I was out of that aforementioned cashew milk.) I didn’t think to look in the mirror and see if it had turned my tongue bloody red, though. Probably did.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!