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Keanu Gets Cool

When did this happen? It slipped right past me. Keanu Reeves was the worst successful actor in Hollywood. I amend that with the word “successful” because there are plenty who are worse, but none of those feebs has achieved anything close to his level of success. And it’s not like mine is a singular opinion. Even the hordes who loved the MATRIX movies commented on the lousiness of Reeves’ acting.

The most egregious example to come to mind is BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA wherein Keanu played Jonathan Harker. It’s painful to watch. The viewer is so embarrassed for him. My ego wouldn’t have let me show up for filming every day, if I’d had any clue just how bad I was. I expect Keanu did not. There are only two exceptions where Keanu actually gave credible performances: As Ted in the BILL AND TED movies, because his personality was tailor-made for that role, and as the redneck Donnie Barksdale in THE GIFT, wherein he was actually *good*. Otherwise his entire career is one dull, bland, featureless performance after another. Or that’s how it was, before John Wick. Now Keanu is cool. Now he has cred. He got damn lucky, landing that role, since that’s the one that redeemed him. But if you ever find yourself forgetting how terrible he was in other films, just rewatch BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA. Though I would expect Mr. Reeves wishes you wouldn’t.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.

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