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Killing a Vampire with Modern Technology

In this day and age where the vampire is all the rage (quite poetic, don’t you think?), there are numerous ways to kill the demonic creature if you ever come into contact with one. I’m talking about vampires such as Lestat from Interview with the Vampire or the original Nosferatu. If you run into vampires like Edward Cullen, keep walking because they’re not a threat to the human race.

OK so you run into a vampire at your school, at the gym, or even at church, but how do you rid your life of one? First of all, you aren’t living in the 1800’s so holy water and a machete are completely out of the question.

Cell Phone Gun- I kid you not, these things actually exist. These may not be available in the United States yet, but seeing that you’re on the hunt for blood suckers, you shouldn’t have any problem picking one up. The vampire in question will not recognize this lethal little weapon.

Minuscule Bomb- Pretend you’re on Van Helsing’s team and the only way to kill a vampire is to concoct your very own bomb. Van Helsing is counting on you, so you better do your homework and slip-ups will cost you your career and your life. Make sure this concoction can’t be noticed by the untrained eye!

Flame Thrower- OK I may be taking this one from the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie but it seemed to work for the chosen one. Let’s say you don’t have tons of money to throw away on high tech toys, so why not take what may be readily available in your home? Find a crucifix, hairspray, and a lighter and you’re golden.

How would you kill a vampire if given the chance?

– Bryce

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