Make Believe

Shoulda Woulda Coulda…

Make believe is fun. In fact without it this delightful thing we call fiction simply would not exist. So let us now make-believe–as in “let us create a belief”–some beloved or well-known characters to be undead. Why not?

For one, Sherlock Holmes. Leaving aside that the physical description of him is perilously close to that of Dracula (in fact the whole premise behind Fred Saberhagen’s “The Holmes-Dracula File”), doesn’t this explain the icily precise brain, the (very) eccentric behavior, the chronic ennui? Two of the best Holmes I ever saw–Frank Langella in two Broadway plays and Jeremy Brett on the BBC–also achieved some fame in the play which made Bela Lugosi ultimately a household name. Look into it and you’ll find a fair number of actors have played both parts, including Christopher Lee and Richard Roxburgh. Coincidence? Hmmmmm…

Then there’s Dexter of the Showtime series of the same name. Dexter is a serial killer, but one who only hunts other murderers, those who have killed and gotten away with it, plus are likely to kill again. So easy to imagine tweaking the story to make him nosferatu! It even makes sense that he’s a blood spatter analyst. You can even look at Rita, Lilah and now Lumen as his three brides! Couple that with the way he always mourns his own lack of humanity, and behold a whole new series idea!

James Bond. Okay, Kim Newman pretty much already did this in his novel “Dracula Cha-Cha-Cha” (to be re-released this coming year) but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a good idea!

River Tam from the defunct space opera “Firefly” then resurrected (appropriately enough) in the motion picture “Serenity.” A waif like girl, with a broken mind, needing taking care of. That is the lovely River Tam. Now add the fact she’s a killing machine who all-but-dances her excursions into wholesale slaughter. Just take the nugget of that image and build from there.

“Dracula 2000” started with the premise that Judas was in fact the first vampire. Turn that one around. What if it were Jesus who was the first vampire, who rose from the dead and urged his followers to drink blood? Such a storyline has enormous potential, and even more instant free publicity via the raw controversy of such an idea.

Lois Lane–plucky reporter who no longer needs rescuing per se because the supervillains and corrupt politicos she targets are in a lot more danger from her.

Obi Wan Kenobi–perhaps wise from so very many lifetimes, unafraid of death because it is an old friend, longing to stop his apprentice vampire who became such a monster. Keep in mind he can hypnotize people just by looking at them.

Leonard from “The Big Bang Theory,” a nerd who somehow managed to seduce the beautiful stacked blond across the hall. How? Because after his kiss she could not refuse him of course!

Hannibal Lecter. Catherine from “Basic Instinct.” Want to have a fit of giggles? Imagine both of them as vampires in “Twilight.”

Ophelia in “Hamlet” (or does Drusilla cancel out that idea?). Mitch from “A Mighty Wind,” a once-angry formerly driven singer now befuddled and confused by the world but still clinging to a love long gone. Shane from “The L Word,” in effect a lesbian Casanova eternally looking for a woman to love but always losing her, leaving behind a string of broken hearts and/or drained bodies of lovely women. Hermione Granger of “Harry Potter” as a vampire who studiously experiments and learns precisely what she can and cannot do (can’t you just see her inventing True Blood?). Catherine from “Wuthering Heights,” Rochester’s first wife in “Jane Eyre,” the Joker from “The Dark Knight.” The list goes on and on.

Who would you put on this list, given half a chance? Any idea contained in this article is given away to anyone who wants to use it free of all charge, demand for credit or compensation of any kind. Enjoy!

By david

David MacDowell Blue blogs at Night Tinted Glasses.  He graduated from the National Shakespeare Conservatory and is the author of The Annotated Carmilla. and Your Vampire Story (And How to Write It) as well as a theatrical adaptation of Carmilla.


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  4. Ah, lovely, insane, innocent and flower-decoarated Ophelia! She made suicide and suicide victims are prime candidates to become vampires. Drusilla was only good idea in Buffy, and even that was badly executed.
    I have read a short story about Jesus as a vampire, but I don´t remember title and author.

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