Man Claims He Was Attacked by Vampires

Here’s a big serving of bizarre worldly news for you vampire fans. A man in New Zealand claims that he was attacked by three vampires who bit his neck and drank his blood after a night out in Mount Victoria. Nope, I’m not making this up.

The man’s vampire claim came to light after three people were charged with wounding and intent to render a man unconscious in the crazy attack.

James Brooks, 22, and Xenia Borichevsky, 19, appeared last week at Wellington District Court in relation to the incident, and a warrant was issued for the third man, James Orr, 19.

According to the unnamed victim’s story, he passed out during a vampiric attack which happened as the four made their way home after a party. But the alleged vampires claim they are not the one of the undead, with Brooks saying he had only bitten the man because the victim had been hitting on his girlfriend. He said that didn’t think he’d punctured the skin.

“Do I look like a vampire?” said Brooks, who according to news reports is pale, has a number of facial piercings and a mohawk haircut… which OBVIOUSLY makes him a vampire! Duh!

Sigh. Stupid reporters.

Brooks went on to say, “I didn’t bite him to hurt him. I bit him because I was pissed off with him.”

Really guy? Who the hell bites someone because they’re annoyed?! Three-year-olds, that’s who. Lame.

After his trip to court he spoke to reporters, saying that he also understood blood drinking had occurred, but that it wasn’t him. “[Drinking blood] wasn’t my agenda, I was just angry,” he added. Unfortunately that’s all we know on this “vampire attack” since police can’t discuss the details of a pending court case.

So to sum it up, you’ve got some morons loosing their temper and biting people and hungry news reporters that think piercings and wild hair equals VAMPIRE. Oh boy.

– Moonlight