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Movie Review: FINDERS KEEPERS

I’m gonna get in trouble if I’m not careful, but y’all, honestly, I thought Patrick Muldoon, who stars in this movie alongside Jaime Pressley (and her unflattering haircut) and Tobin (SAW) Bell, was actually Ian Somerhalder from THE VAMPIRE DIARIES. Just being honest, peeps, I did. I never cared for THE VAMPIRE DIARIES–no offense to those who dig on it–and the two guys look alike to me. (Muldoon, by the way, is an alumnus of STARSHIP TROOPERS, MELROSE PLACE, and DAYS OF OUR LIVES. I googled him.)

FINDERS KEEPERS, not to be confused by the dozen or so other flicks that have the same title, or the novel by Stephen King, is a possessed doll movie. The doll here, Lilly, is actually a “muneca quitapena”, a Latin American “worry doll.” We never learn how the doll became possessed of life. We only know its motivations: it’s EEEEEEEVIL. It takes over the minds of children and makes them kill people. (Lilly the Doll is stealing Baghuul’s shtick, here. You know Baghuul, the guy from the SINISTER films.) The movie is pretty generic, I’m afraid. Paint-by-numbers. It might make for a pleasant diversion if you happen to catch it on cable, like I did, but don’t expect a classic.

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763

MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!

TheCheezman • January 30, 2018


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