Movie Review: I Am Virgin (2010)

Remember staying up late to watch Skinemax, only to be disappointed that not a single, thong wearing, genital-hiding babe had fangs? Well, now your calls for softcore vampire porn has finally been answered! The world is suddenly taken over by a virus that turns everyone into a sex crazed vampire, leaving only one virgin to helplessly survive the masses of fanged porn star women seeking to literally, screw him to death!

Poor Robby, left to wander the world, and play lonely games of chess with his purple alien blow up doll. Apparently, before they became vampires themselves, Robby’s parents convinced him that sex was horrible, wrong, and would lead him straight to Hell. And then the vampire apocalypse came… and so did Robby’s parents, leaving him to fend for himself. Oh, him and his faithful hound dog Bill, who’s probably a virgin too, and seems like he can’t understand Robby’s motives for not just getting himself a piece of ass.

According to Robby’s video blog, –yeah, there’s still Internet in a post-apocalyptic future, –he’s been tortured with the decision to have sex with a vampire chick for almost three years. I don’t know about you guys, but a decision like that would take me around an hour, tops. One review on IMDb challenges us to “find all the homages to great B-movies of the past”. So far, all I’ve seen is the glaringly obvious reference to I Am Legend, –which isn’t exactly an old movie, or a b-movie. All idiotic, overzealous reviews aside, the abundance of fanged, topless, alt porn stars will keep you entertained for the full 90 minutes of the film.

By annimi

Ashley writes for Vampires.com, Werewolves.com, and other sites in the Darksites Network. She's involved in several seedy and disreputable activities, smokes too much, and spends her late nights procrastinating for work on her first novel.

4 comments

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  3. Actually I am Legend is a classic novel by Richard Matheson which has been made into movies several times including The Last Man on Earth and The Omega Man.

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