I don’t turn movies off once I start watching them. I’m that guy who, even if the movie is lousy, has to see it through. I don’t just stop watching.

I turned this one off.

You remember this movie called SHOWGIRLS? Chances are, if you’re a hetero dude, you’ve seen it. All hetero dudes have an inner knuckle-dragger. It’s true. (I can’t speak for any other group as I have no personal experience being a member of that group. It could be that women and LGBT folks have their own inner knuckle-draggers, too. But that’s not germane.) But SHOWGIRLS proved that even a knuckle-dragger can get bored. Watching naked attractive women can indeed become boring after a while. I didn’t turn off SHOWGIRLS the one time I saw it—I almost did, a few times—but I for dang sure have never watched it again. The gratuitous nudity was not enough to hold my interest.

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD 3D: RE-ANIMATION had one thing going for it. The gimmick. Zombies in 3-D. That’s it. It literally brings nothing else to the table (a slumming Jeffrey Combs notwithstanding). And just like the graphic nudity in SHOWGIRLS, the novelty of watching zombies in 3-D proved insufficient to hold my attention for the entire length of the movie. It would’ve been so cool if there’d been things like a good script and decent acting (a slumming Jeffrey Combs notwithstanding) to go along with the gimmick. Alas, it was not to be.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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