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Movie Review: THE BRANIAC

No, this one isn’t about the Superman villain (though the latter is a pretty cool bad guy and I wonder that they’ve never used him in any of the DC movies). Rather the warlock who is the film’s antagonist transforms himself at times into a brain-sucking Chupacabra-like demon creature. This creature uses a hardened forked tongue to penetrate its victims at the base of their necks for the aforementioned brain-sucking; I mention this latter fact because it reminds me that, as a child, I believed that was how snakes bit people. Not with fangs, but by stabbing them with their tongues. Of course the tongues of snakes are soft and flexible. The tongue of the Braniac is also soft—it appears to be made out of felt—and I don’t see how it could penetrate anything, much less human skin. But the hilarious design of the monster in this cheapie is hardly its greatest misstep.

It’s difficult to say if THE BRAINIAC would be as bad as it is, or as delightful, in its original Spanish. The dubbing is ridiculous, sounding at times as if it is delivered by some out-of-work gameshow host, and the dialogue oftentimes doesn’t even make sense. In other words, this one is pure magic, almost worthy of Ed Wood, and my life is so much more complete now that I’ve discovered it. If you love camp half as much as I do, I cannot recommend this one highly enough.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.

Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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