Nightmare Coffee

I do not drink coffee. I do not drink coffee. I do not drink coffee. I do not *like* coffee!

I’m just going to keep telling myself this, over and over, and hope it sticks. Otherwise I’m gonna go broke. Buying coffee. Which I don’t drink. Which I don’t like.

See, the problem is, Dead Sled Coffee has inked a deal with Warner Brothers to create and release several new flavors of yucky coffee (it’s yucky to me; coffee connoisseurs might disagree; don’t wait around for me to give it a review, since I’m guaranteed not to like it, even if it’s the greatest coffee what ever has been brewed, and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between the best coffee and the worst coffee, anyway, since it all tastes the same to me) based on Horror franchises. The A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET coffee is up first, (the “Never Sleep Again” blend—and what a perfect fit it is, given that coffee is supposed to keep you awake) to be followed by IT coffee, Beetlejuice coffee, more Freddy-flavored coffee, and coffee blends representing the whole friggin’ FRIDAY THE 13th franchise! Oh, and FREDDY VS. JASON, if that wasn’t enough.

I do not drink coffee. I do not drink coffee. I do not drink coffee.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: