Pattinson is Batman. Relax. It’s Gonna Be Fine.

Look, I get it. I feel you. All you fanboys out there freaking out over the news that Robert Pattinson is going to play Batman. Yes, the sparkly whiny wunderkind of TWILIGHT infamy is going to don the cape and cowl. A most unconventional choice, to be sure. It surprised me. Pattinson brings a lot of baggage, unfortunately. He knows it, too. Reportedly he hates TWILIGHT and regrets ever getting himself involved in those movies. His choices of roles since finishing those films would seem to prove this, as he has purposefully sought out smaller, independent parts that require a lot of acting ability. He’s tried to distance himself from TWILIGHT. I guess it worked. Now we, the fans, have to do our part and divorce him from that franchise in our own minds.

Here’s why it’s gonna work out fine: Pattinson can act. He’s actually quite good. They can get him a personal trainer to get him into the right shape for the role, and he’s tall enough at 6’1” to fit the role. And then there’s Matt Reeves. The latter proved with his magnificent PLANET OF THE APES films that he’s a serious player. If he thinks Pattinson’s the guy for the role, then Pattinson is the guy for the role. He’s our new Batman. I’m actually okay with that.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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