Pirate Ghost Gets Hitched

This is my favorite article this week, hands down.

I’ll withhold commentary until the end. First, just the facts. Forty-five year old Amanda Teague from Drogheda, Co. Louth, Ireland, had been having an ongoing sexual relationship with “Jack,” the ghost of a Haitian pirate hanged in the 1700s. Communicating through a medium, Amanda told Jack that she was tired of him getting all the milk for free, and that if he wanted to continue to milk her regularly he was going to have to buy the cow. Surprisingly, Jack acquiesced. To guarantee that the marriage would be legal, Teague and her entourage sailed into international waters. (Marrying a dead person is legal in China but not in Ireland.) Jack recited his vows through a medium (“If I gave consent on his behalf it would put a question mark over the authenticity of the marriage,” said Teague, “so we had an independent medium to speak for Jack.”) and a candle was used instead of his spectral finger when it came time for Amanda to place the ring, um, somewhere. “I wanted the big traditional wedding with the white dress,” said Teague, who works by day as a PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN reenactor. (The hell, you say!) “It was very important to me.”
We here at vampires.com would like to extend our best wishes to the happy couple and wish them many years of wedded bliss.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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