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Pre-Review: THE MUMMY

As I type this, I have not yet seen the new Universal film, and launchpad for Universal’s “Dark Universe” of shared films, THE MUMMY. I have, however, been online and seen the reviews. I feel the need, then, to speak out, as another injustice appears to be taking place.

My friends, NEVER listen to a mainstream critic where a genre picture is concerned. Never, never, never, and never. These *blech* *gag* NORMAL people simply are not in any way qualified to judge the quality of genre efforts, Horror in particular. They simply do not, and probably CAN not, “get it.” It’s not their fault. They are what they are (and what they are is hopelessly square). For honest, dependable reviews of Horror flicks, I recommend the following sites: Fangoria.com, shocktillyoudrop.com, bloodydisgusting.com, and iHorror. These are the ONLY sites I consult before deciding whether or not see a new film. Discerning moviegoers who DO check those sites will find that, while the mainstream squares are deriding the new Mummy flick as abysmal and the worst movie Tom Cruise has ever made, the Horror sites are giving it overall GOOD reviews. (The guy from one of them just hates Tom Cruise, and that’s understandable, but we shouldn’t judge the entire movie because Cruise is in it.)

For the best reviews, though, you can add to those websites I just credited THIS one, and our sister sites werewolves.com, zombies.org, topcomics.com (for superhero movies) and darkness.com. *I* won’t steer you wrong. (Unless of course you just have lousy taste, but I can’t be held responsible for that.) But I won’t be seeing THE MUMMY until tonight, so you’ll have to check back next week for MY review.

Based on what I’m hearing so far from CREDIBLE sources, I expect I’m gonna dig it.

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763

MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!

TheCheezman • June 9, 2017


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  • As someone who thoroughly enjoyed the 1999 reboot, take this critic’s word for it: the 2017 reboot borrows from everything but can’t balance anything. I can only imagine what’s on the cutting room floor. If all you want to see are effects, go see Dead Men Tell No Tales; if you want story, go see Wonder Woman or Alien: Covenant. If you want to see Tom Cruise get his butt kicked a lot with little or real reason why, you’ll get your Mummy’s worth. #youvebeenwarned

    • The CheezMan

      I ended up really digging it, despite its flaws. (See my review.) But then any movie featuring a Universal Monster has a leg-up on getting me to love it. I do hope we see a darker approach with the forthcoming Dark Universe films.