We’re still winding down towards the end of the franchise; we’ve got a couple spots left yet to go over some o’ what is awesome, as well as irrevocably silly in the series of films. I know there’s a majority of people who think the films are stupid, but I think they’re just as entertaining as anything else these days; too many attempts to establish a saga or franchise have recently gone into the toilet that it might be some time before we can hope for anything lasting, interesting, or worthwhile…
This is our send-off to Bella Swan, as she makes her last big appearance on the screen soon.
There is no death! The stars go down
To rise upon some other shore,
And bright in heaven’s jeweled crown
They shine forevermore.
–There is No Death, J.L. McCreery
Our Most Emotional Moments with Bella Swan
- The entire first half of New Moon; the crying, the depression, the insanity and continuous longing. I know, it’s melodramatic but gosh. Just remember how melodramatic high school romances were. We’ve all done plenty of bawling over boys over the years. Imagine crying over a sparkly rich vampire.
- When she jumps up and hugs Alice, –after Alice returns toward the end of New Moon; not sad in a normal sad way, but sad in like, I cried because my heart was in my throat way. Like, omg, finally one of them came back.
- Bella and Rosalie’s talk; Rosalie explains how she feels about Bella being turned in Eclipse, and her life before she was turned, wanting kids, and how she was turned… and Rosalie tells her flat out that inevitably, Bella will always want blood more than Edward.
- Bella duping Jacob into thinking for a minute there that she wanted him in Eclipse, and then breaking his heart; this was right before he headed down the mountain to fight newborns, and she kissed him.
- When Jacob admits to Bella that he might even love her after her “heart stops beating” towards the end of Eclipse; both sad and romantic, it kind of gives us hope that Jacob and Bella will still be friends after Edward turns her.
- Saying her goodbyes to her parents, and friends (even though they’re morons) and knowing that at some point, she’ll have to be dead to them; this is sort of in the beginning of Breaking Dawn.
- In Breaking Dawn, Bella had to contemplate for a moment that she might be honeymooning in Rio. Good god. How horrible and traumatizing.
- Not being able to make love on her honeymoon, and Edward being all terrified of giving her even the tiniest little bruise. I mean they did have sex twice, but gosh… it’s a honeymoon. Then again, it’s not like he can’t take her anywhere she wants to go and make love to her for days and days after she’s a vampire. It’s sad because you only get that one first honeymoon.
- Instant honeymoon termination because Edward thinks their baby is the equivalent of a chest-bursting alien, or a demon baby, ready to chew its way out of her womb.
- Bella learning that she could die before even giving birth, and knowing she definitely will if she tries.
- For a few minutes, the last thing Bella saw right before she died, was her baby, and it was so incredibly depressing.
Our Funniest Bella Swan Moments
- When Bella falls on her ass after slipping in ice in Twilight; it’s one of our first big windows into her amazing state of infinite klutz-ism.
- Her beach-wear at La Push; it’s like she picked the silliest looking thing she could find in her infinite selection of generally drab clothing.
- She researches Quileute legends on the Internet, and rather than just ordering from Amazon, or reading Wikipedia, she drives all the way out to another town, and buys a book from a store, all the way on the other side of the town from her friends, whom she ditched to buy this book. Jeez.
- Bella’s eyes actually cross in the end of the first Twilight movie, when Edward is “cleaning” her blood, which kept this scene out of the most romantic moments. This was a hard choice, but I giggled out loud. Couldn’t help it.
- The combination of the gigantic black cast boot and her dainty prom dress at the end of Twilight. Cute, but still classically funny.
- The idea that Bella’s nightmare about getting old is such an preoccupation for her. We’ve all been there hun; just not at 18.
- In all the films, Bella manages to maintain good humor, and indulgence, in the complete and total idiocy of her friends. They’re total morons, but she perseveres.
- “I was cliff diving. Recreationally. It was … fun.” This was funny, I always laugh. She’s telling Alice why she jumped off a cliff, and Alice is like…”Wha….?”
- Bella’s response to Jasper’s vote to turn her, at the end of New Moon. “It would be nice not to want to kill you all the time.” She’s like, “mm… ” kthx, psycho.
- The marriage argument; Edward just finishes this really romantic way of saying what marriage means where he’s from, –and Bella comes back with, where she’s from, getting married so young “…is the way one says ‘I just got knocked up.'”
- Bella breaking her hand on Jacob’s face, and Emmet teasing her about it. Gotta love Emmet, he’s such a big silly puppy.
- Charlie trying to have the “talk” with Bella, he’s awkward, she’s awkward, it’s all very grosss and parental, but still way funny.
- The barrage of wedding speeches in Breaking Dawn; I would have been so embarrassed….