This is the last week before Twilight is pretty much officially over, and we wanted to send the franchise out with kind of a special sort of ordeal, –make sure that the thrilling threesome got some much deserved memorial services. We’ll start with the stuff that made us all want to cry, –and some of us (me) -actually- did cry. And we’ll round it out with some of the funniest moments of each character. Oh and be on the lookout for sarcasm; you know I can’t help myself.
This is our send off to Jacob Black’s character; he will be sorely missed.
Epitaph: “Nothing’s So Sacred As Honor And Nothing’s So Loyal As Love.” – (Wyatt Earp’s headstone, author unknown)
Our Most Emotional Moments with Jacob Black
- Jacob’s adorable puppy love in the first Twilight film is so sweet, and sad; like he does actually look like he’s giving her the sad puppy face… and he’s too cute.
- When he cuts his hair in New Moon. :( Seriously. I was like, “omg… nooooooo!”
- Jacob ditching Bella, after he first gets his haircut. I so cried. It was right after he had told her he was always going to be there for her, and everything else. This was also before she knew he was a werewolf and all.
- When Alice is getting ready to drive Bella to the airport, to stop Edward from killing himself, Jacob begs her not to go, and he’s so close to full-on breaking out in tears, and all. It was gut wrenching, but we all knew she’d have to go get Edward. (New Moon)
- Bella telling Jacob that “it’s always been Edward,” in New Moon… she works so hard to shut him down, and he’s so irrevocably in love with her, it’s a consistently depressing theme.
- Jacob’s massive macho aggression moves; he’s pushing Bella away and being a total douche; he does this throughout the series, and you can’t help but sympathize, even though he’s hurting both Bella, and himself.
- Almost getting killed by a newborn in Eclipse, and then having his heart broken by Bella, right after Carlisle re-sets (re-breaks) all of his bones.
- Dancing with Bella at her wedding in Breaking Dawn p.1; he’s trying, but he’s obviously incredibly miserable, and trying to deal with the future. And his inevitable spaz attack is even worse.
- Watching Bella die, begging her to live, even though for her it means losing the baby she’s killing herself to protect.
- Desperately trying to bring Bella back to life; when he’s performing CPR in Breaking Dawn p.1, and having to watch Edward bite her all over probably didn’t help either.
- Finally imprinting on Renesmee; basically, all of his love for Bella sort of melted away and disappeared, leaving his love for Renesmee, which is sweet, but also kind of sad, because he’ll never really feel the same way about Bella again.
Funniest Jacob Moments
- When Bella cracks him with the truck door in Twilight; he’s made awkward and clumsy by puberty, and his adorable crush on Bella.
- In the first Twilight film, Jacob had lapses in accent; occasionally, he sounded extremely Canadian and dorky, but in like a cute way.
- “Wow, scrap metal. You shouldn’t have.” Clearly a guy who knows a piece of crap when he sees it; I giggled at this lame little joke, don’t judge me.
- “Just my boys.” Lolwut? When guys call other guys “boys”, it always sounds forced and gay in films; or like they’re talking about their balls; “yup, these are my boys. Got three of ’em.” And spilling on Quil taking his cousin to prom. Ooooh, and y’know, ew.
- Dunno if anyone remembers the whole movie adventure in New Moon; but… I was so amused that Jacob can say “Face Punch” and make it sound like a real movie, while everyone else talks about it as if they’re embarrassed to say it out loud because it sounds so fake.
- Jacob wishing he had mono instead of just finding out he was a werewolf. Werewolves are cool, mono is just… gross, and besides, I’m pretty sure you can die from it.
- Jacob’s pack-mates making fun of his inner monologue in Eclipse (I think) “wanna call Bella, wish Bella would call,” looool.
- The continuous references to Jacob stinking are funny, he refers to it as Eau de Wolf. Although the way the vampires talks about it, –and especially when Jasper talks about it in Eclipse, –Jacob smells like full on dog poop.
- Jacob straight up tells Edward “I am hotter than you.” He means it literally in Eclipse because Bella’s freezing her ass off in the mountains, while all the fighting goes down. But you know, it’s hilarious because he also means it like, as in, “I’m sexy an’ I know it…”
- Hearing what Bella plans to name their daughter; it’s awful. He tries so hard to keep a straight face, and barely manages with Edward giggling in the background.
- It’s not meant to be funny, but the whole birth process in Breaking Dawn freaks Jacob so bad; when Edward gives Bella an oral C-section, Jake had to be barfing in a corner somewhere.