Revisiting the Classics: HOCUS POCUS
I’d never actually seen this one before. It came out at a time when I was brand new to adulthood (in the physical sense, at any rate) and I perceived it as a “kid’s movie” and as I was trying hard to distance myself from all things childhood, putting away all my action figures, buying girlie magazines instead of Fangoria, worried more about getting a date for the weekend than what Horror flicks were coming out in theaters—
Yes. I actually went through such a stage, mercifully short. I needed to grow up a little before I returned to all the loves of my childhood, putting the toys back out on my bookshelves, geeking even harder over the Horror flicks. It’s weird, isn’t it, how you have to reach a certain age and level of maturity to realize it’s okay to be an adult and still play with toys?
—so I paid no mind to it. Last night, while carving Halloween pumpkins with my lovely wifey, we had the TV running and HOCUS POCUS was playing. Watching it with fresh eyes, what was my take?
It’s a kid’s movie. But it’s a cute kid’s movie, not without charm. I would have sought it out and viewed it earlier had I known how vampire-like the three witch sisters actually are. They suck the life-forces out of little children to retain their lives and their youth. That’s patently vampiric.
Also, while I never liked Sarah Jessica Parker—she played Dolores Fuller in Tim Burton’s ED WOOD but was rude to the real Dolores Fuller, and she thinks an awful lot of herself—and I never found her the least bit attractive, she’s hot as hell as Sarah Sanderson, the airheaded witch. What *is* it about a girl in monster makeup?
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.
Denn die totden reiten schnell!