She Can Be My Guide

This new season of WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS stumbled a little with the first couple of episodes (they still haven’t explained why Colin Robinson was acting so out of character) but man it’s firing on all cylinders now. The most recent episode, which will likely be two episodes ago by the time you read this, was totally bonzers. It and the one before it, the one where our Vamps go to Atlantic City, are among the top five or six episodes of the entire series thus far. Just fabulous.

The Master is alive? And he’s just a torso with an arm now? And he drives around in a little toy car or rides on the back of the Golden Retriever from Hell? And now he lives with the Sire? Brilliance. Sheer brilliance. 

The Guide is such a welcome addition to the cast this season, too. Portrayed by Kristen Schaal, I find her all kinds of adorable. She activates my kink, which I’ve written about before: hot chicks in monster makeup. What is it that makes her so desirable? It sure isn’t because she shows any skin; the only thing uncovered is her face. I think it’s the accent, same as with Nadja. There’s just something about the vampiric accent when uttered by a lady that makes me want to offer up my neck.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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