Finally it looks like someone took my advice and started rendering the fictitious entity’s name as one word, Slenderman, instead of two, which is something I’ve advocated for in the past. This article refers to him as “Slenderman.” It also tells us that he is real, or that there are people who claim to have seen a figure matching his profile. (Except that the figure they supposedly encountered had eyes, where Slenderman is always depicted as eyeless. This happened in the Chicago area.

From the alleged witness: “…we were doing a small Wiccan ritual in the woods when we saw a large, thin man appear out of the woods and start staring us down. The man was extremely tall, about 7 ½ – 8 feet tall and very, very thin…his arms hung down toward his knees. At first, I was like “Holy Shit! It’s Slenderman! But…his eyes were huge, almost looked like a praying mantises [sic] eyes, just jet black…We stood there staring at each other for about a minute before it stepped behind some trees and disappeared. Once we lost sight of him, that is when the fear set in and we got out of those woods as quickly as we could…” And then from the investigator: “When asked about the use of marijuana in their rituals, both indicated that they both did smoke marijuana…but that the sighting they had was not induced by or influenced by the marijuana.” Right. I’m sure it had nothing whatsoever to do with it.

Occam’s Razor on this one, peeps. Occam’s Razor.

At least nobody tried to sacrifice anybody to Slenderman this time.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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